29 and my life passing before my eyes

A day in the life of a disorganised dag

2007-06-30T13:16:00.000+10:00

It's been a pretty busy few months, and this hasn't been helped by my terrible disorganisation. I have diaries and yellow sticky notes all over the place, but still manage to forget things. Luckily I've usually been able to cover (ie: pretend) my way out of problems. Last Monday however I was due to fly to Brisbane for a board meeting, and on the Friday before the meeting I realised that I hadn't booked the plane ticket over! In an absolute panic I looked up plane tickets on the net, fully expecting that I would have to pay a fortune to purchase a ticket, or even worse that there would be no tickets available. Imagine the embarassment of having to explain that to the board! To my amazement, there was a seat available for $100! Snapped it up quickly, sigh of relief. I just hope that when I submit the receipt for reimbursement that the secretary doesn't notice when I purchased the ticket!

Life passing before my eyes........

2007-06-30T13:06:00.000+10:00

Well it's amazing, three and a half months have passed since I last updated my blog. It seems like yesterday, and my heart surgery and near-death experience seem like a long forgotten dream.

Things are moving at a terrific pace, there is so much going on. I guess you could say that life has returned to normal, although I have been wondering lately whether this is the "normal" that I really want. But hey I'm rambling......

To update, I saw my cardiologist a few weeks ago and have been given the all clear! HOORAY! I am now free to do absolutely anything, physically and mentally or otherwise. I am taking aspirin daily for the rest of my life, but otherwise no other medication.

I guess in a way, the reason for this blog has now passed on. It certainly helped me to cope with my recovery, but since I'm all better now it's time to move on. However, I feel rather sentimental about my blog - after all it is a history of my experiences after heart surgery etc. So i'll keep it alive, and drop in now and then with the odd story and tidbits, rants and raves.

So thanks to you all for dropping in and saying G'day. Feel free to drop on in and catch a funny story or two. Flick me an email and say hello.

FuFoo..... FuFoo......

2007-01-06T14:36:00.000+11:00

The weather is wet, wet, wet. With not much else to do, I have been entertaining myself with the Nintendo. In particular, I have been playing Nintendogs. Ok, it's a completely girly game! But it's actually quite fun. The basic premise is that you can select a cute puppy and play with it and train it. You can throw toys to it, shampoo and brush it, feed it and walk it. And train it to do tricks. The neat thing is that it has voice recognition due to a built in microphone, so you can give your puppy commands by voice. Fun for me, but very very annoying for everyone else in the house. I think they are getting highly sick of my continual voice commands to my puppy - FuFoo...... (my puppy's name, named after a dear, dear friend of mine), sit down, lie down, rollover, play dead........... I've even been ordered to play in the room, away from everyone else!

My puppy is a little King Charles Cavalier Spanial - and has two spotted pink ribbons on its head - very cute! She's not the most obedient puppy however - doesn't listen to my orders very well!

On puppies - a funny story. Directly across the road from us live a young couple, a blondie and her younger man. Anyways, late one night the young boy turned up at the front door - obviously been out on the town, and his girlfriend wouldn't let him in! He went off (probably to stay at a mate's house) and early the next morning came home and had to beg his girlfriend to let him in. "Puppy. puppy. Please let me in!" So, so funny! So now Yvette and I always refer to the girl across the road as puppy! haha

Toothbrushing Troubles

2007-01-02T23:58:00.000+11:00

Brushing teeth every day is as routine as putting clothes on before going out, covering your mouth when burping, and opening doors for sexy ladies. Me. I like my toothpaste mint flavoured (there isn't any other flavour anyway). There are so many styles - mint, cool mint, freshmint, triple mint etc etc. Colgate is my brand of choice, and they provide minty freshness in white, light blue, darker blue (the gel stuff) and white and blue stripes or even triple stripes (red, white and blue).

This morning I whacked open the tube of toothpaste and put the paste onto my brush and into my mouth as I have for 29 years. But the taste wasn't mint! I pulled out the brush and the toothpaste was yellow! I kid you not! It was bright yellow. I look on the tube, colgate of course. But instead of minty freshness, the flavour is propolis (whatever the hell that is!) written over a picture of a bee on a honeycomb! What the hell is this? No doubt it's from our visitors - but it's just not toothpaste..........

UPDATE
As if to spite me, someone has put out another "not" Colgate toothpaste in the bathroom - it's white with yellow stripes and called Kayu Sugi! I have abolutely no idea what this stuff is - but apparently it is good for teeth! Here are some pics for you all to see.

Heart Health Update

2007-01-01T17:13:00.000+11:00

I guess it's been a while since you've all had an update on the health of my heart, so it's time to fill you in. My scar is healing well - it's a lot thinner than I had imagined pre-surgery, about 1mm in thickness. There is a variable amount of pain through my chest, which I think is just the muscles knitting back together after they were cut apart. It hurts most in the morning when I wake up, but is fairly bearable throughout the rest of the day. Paracetamol doesn't seem to put a dent into the discomfort so I don't bother taking it anymore.

Probably the thing that is bothering me more than the pain is the general tiredness and exhaustion that I have been feeling every day. I'm putting it down to the running around and excitement over the visit of our guests. More likely it's payback for my over-enthusiasm earlier in my recovery when I felt so good that I might have overdone it a little bit - and am paying for it now.

The million dollar question is how does my heart feel? Well, dunno cos i can't really feel it. However, I can say quite definitively that it works a hell of a lot better than before surgery! I went for a morning walk with Yvette's mom yesterday morning, for about 35 minutes up and down some rather tough hills. I'm glad to say that I passed with flying colours - in fact I felt tremendous! I'm certainly feeling confident that the recovery is going well, and that my heart is fixed.

The World's Greatest Invention!

2007-01-01T13:12:00.000+11:00

My brother bought me a get well gift when he came to visit from london - a Nintendo DS lite. It is freaking awesome! It's a handheld videogame console, which has two screens, one of which is a touchscreen. I am so so addicted to it - I don't think that a day has gone by where I haven't played it! It's really stuffed up my walking and exercise routine - and introduced really bad posture pains from constantly playing day and night.

However, I have not had it all my own way! It turns out that it's not just me, but every member of Yvette's family has also become addicted to the DS! Yvette's mom stayed up until 2.30am playing the Big Brain Academy one night, and Yvette stayed up till 2am playing Elite Beat Agents! And in between, Yvette's sister has been nabbing it to play some crappy game called Meteos! Throughout, Yvette's dad has been looking on - if curiosity killed the cat this one would have been dead from the first day I played the Nintendo! It has been a real battle getting my hands on my own DS!

In absolute dismay over the inability to touch or even at times see my DS (it seems to keep disappearing - I even took to hiding it) I took the only option available to me. In utter desperation, I went out and bought THREE brand new Nintendo DS'sssss!!!!

So now Yvette, Yvette's sister (she needs to learn how to accept presents! :oP ) and Yvette's father (Yvette's sister and I bought it for him as a prez) have their own DS! And I have absolutely no money left.............

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2007-01-01T13:03:00.000+11:00

Happy New Year Everyone! I wish you all the best, for a safe, succesful 2007!

My apologies for the lack of updates over the last few weeks - I know that I have had some of you worried! I am glad to say that I have survived the visit with the in-laws, just. It's been a lot of fun, and we've had some great adventures that i'll share over the next few days. While Yvette's father and sister left to their respective homes yesterday, Yvette's mom (number 4) will be staying with us for another two weeks. I'm filled with joy! Incidently, we got her drunk last night for new year's eve! haha She even woke up at 11.30am this morning - well after her normal 8am starts!

So it is now back to business as usual. I'm glad to say that I am recovering well, although my chest has been hurting more over the past two weeks than it ever has. I have also had a terrible headache lately (which has cleared up by about 66% in the last 24 hours). My INR, measured by blood tests every three days, is still fluctuating so I am constantly changing my warfarin dosages, which is quite annoying. And as is normal during the festive season, I have put on a few kgs, and have been very lazy and not been doing my twice daily 30 minute walks or exercises. It is going to be painful starting these up again.........

Anyway, a big hello to you all and look forward to talking to you throughout this new year! :o)

Post Hosp Day Twenty-Three Update: Spoke Too Soon

2006-12-12T13:59:00.000+11:00

Seems like I spoke too soon! Today was my worst nightmare come true!

Went to the doctors surgery to have my blood test - I'm still having them every three or four days because my warfarin dosage hasn't settled yet. I wait the customary thirty minutes in the waiting room (despite making appointments for a 5 minute blood test, they're always thirty minutes late!). The nurse finally comes to get me, and takes my blood. NOT!

She inserts the needle, and instead of a small prick, it is intense, excruciating pain! It really really %^$&#%^ HURTS! Seems that because my arms have become pin cushions from so many blood tests, the veins have scarred over and she was trying to take blood from a scar area. She tries again in another part of the vein - and again intense, sharp, horrible PAIN!! I feel light headed and dizzy like i'm going to faint again. The nurse gets me to lie down. I feel sick.

After five minutes the nurse tries taking blood from my other arm. She's a bit nervous, and so am I! You can cut the air with a knife. She gets it ok, but it hurts a little bit more than usual. And then i'm running out the door, sweating like crazy! I hate bloodtests!

Footnote: One hour later and the first hole she made in my vein is still bleeding!

Post Hosp Day Twenty-Two Update: Worst Nightmare

2006-12-12T13:35:00.000+11:00

One week and counting until my worst nightmare comes true...... Ask any Aussie bloke to list his top three worst nightmares, and i'm sure that they will all have mine in their list! Next week the in-laws arrive!

Now I have to say from the outset that Yvette's family (parents and sister) are the loveliest people! And i'm not just saying that. However, the conceptual barrier that I have had since being born as a boy still exists - hate the in-laws! haha

As little boys we are taught that in-laws are all grotesque monsters who exist to make our lives miserable! It's quite ironic really, since our parents who we love will most likely become in-laws at some stage - and i'm sure they don't change overnight! In an effort to humanise mine in some way, I have adopted a special naming system for them. Instead of calling them mom and dad, or father-in-law and mother-in-law, or aunty and uncle, or by their first names (in case I forget them!), I have borrowed Yvette's familys method of naming. Yvette's mom is one of 9 kids, so they name them by order of birth - so Yvette's mom is number 4. So I call her number 4, her husband 4.0, Yvette's sister 4.1 and Yvette 4.2. I think it's quite funny, I hope they'll think the same!

In preparation for their arrival, we have to spring clean the house. Due to lifting restrictions, I can't do any of this - at last my injury is finally having some benefit! There's things to move, to clean, to tidy, to reorganise and so on and so on. Apparently however, we are not the only ones preparing for the visit. I hear that number 4 has been frantically practising mahjong with her friends - she has visions of playing me and taking all my money! She sees dollar signs in her eyes because she insists I play with Australian dollars and she plays with her currency (1 Aussie dollar = about 3 of hers!!). 4.1 has been busy learning how to use her digital SLR - she wants to show off to me how "good" her photography skills are! And I hope that 4.0 is ready for some male bonding - i'm planning on isolating him from the nagging threesome (imagine the poor man - surrounded by three endlessly babbling women!). I think lots of fishing, eating and drinking are in order!

Post Hosp Day Twenty-One Update: Frustrated Bystander

2006-12-12T13:27:00.000+11:00

We've been looking for a bookshelf for our living room for ages now - and we finally found a decent one! Unfortunately, given the rules i'm given regarding lifting and Yvette's womanly strength, we need help to get it from the shop. Dad and Yvette go to get it - it's so frustrating watching them carry it upstairs into the house! And then Yvette gets all the fun of putting it together! It's not fair!

Dad also helps me dig up the vegetable garden so that I can plant some new vegies. This really irks me - I can't even use a fork to dig up the ground! He then proceeds to plant all of my seeds and seedlings! This is so not fair! The garden is looking good, some nice looking cauliflower and broccoli, and some different lettuce plants that we use for salad. I'm looking forward to showing it off to Yvette's mom when she visits in a week. I turn my head for an instant, and when I turn back Dad has uprooted my lettuce plants in one fell swoop! He reckons they're too old! Oh no! He then tells me that the cauliflower and broccoli need to be eaten now, so he cuts them and then digs the plants up! Noooooooooooooo! Now there is no vegie garden to show off to Yvette's mom, just a couple of small seedlings!

I'm really not enjoying watching people doing all the fun things! I think i'm going to write today off and go to bed!

Post Hosp Day Twenty Update: Sunny Weather!

2006-12-12T13:10:00.000+11:00

Summertime at last! It's 35C today, and not a cloud in the sky! It's a glorious day, so Yvette and I head down to the open-air market for brunch. As we walk down we come across a group of 40-50 people, all dressed in red! I think they're part of some club - they're doing some sort of run, maybe for charity? Seems to me they're crazy - who would run in a 35C day?? My suspicions are confirmed when we notice three middle aged men wearing dresses and fishnet stockings - an unattractive sight on most days, but even more so in all red!

The market is very quiet - I guess everyone has gone to the beach. We have our brunch, ice coffees and glass of white wine in the shade. The perfect way to relax and unwind. And then we're off to the beach!

We head to our own secret cove, which we are pretty much guaranteed to have to ourselves. When we get there, the wind has swung around from the hot northerly to a cooler southerly. But it's still perfect for swimming. I walk out, but Yvette is a bit reticent - she is such a wuss sometimes! After 5 or 10 minutes I convince her to come out - it's beautiful!

The water here is shallow - we walk out 30 metres and the water is still only above my knees. It's crystal clear, I can see the crabs underwater on the sand! I chase them around in circles - they disappear by burying themselves in sand.

Yvette has a swim - but she won't let me. Something about not getting my scar wet.......

In a flash an hour has passed, and it's time to go home. I hope that this awesome weather lasts!

Post Hosp Day Seventeen Summary: Keeping My Mouth Shut

2006-12-06T14:12:00.000+11:00

I've been told many times that I talk too much, today is yet more evidence of this. My forced homestay has reduced me to reading the local newspaper. It's considered complete trash, and usually takes about a minute to read. I read a story last week that particularly irked me, something about the government wasting $150,000 on a stupid project, and before I knew it I had written a letter in to the editor about it.

I've been checking the newspaper daily just in case it got published, and today it was. This is kinda cool, but while reading over the letter I think I may have been a little bit harsh - my letter ends with something like "the government should be ashamed at this clear case of financial mismanagement". While I've probably gotten a bit carried away, I'm not too worried, I can't imagine many people reading my letter, it is the local crappy newspaper after all!

WRONG! Got a call from the local news station, they want to interview me about my letter. Oh dear....... I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut!

Post Hosp Day Sixteen Summary: Heart Remodelling

2006-12-06T13:57:00.000+11:00

Met with my cardiologist for the first time since my surgery. We do the routine "how are you feeling?" health test, followed by the more scientifically grounded stethescope to listen to my heart. He's extremely happy with the results of the surgery, and is confident that I will recover to better than normal, although it might take some time (I keep hearing this!).

He does recommend that I stop taking the blood pressure tablets and diuretics (hooray!). He also asks me to go back onto the ACE (acetylcholinesterase) inhibitor that I was taking prior to surgery. His reasoning is that the ACE inhibitor has been used successfully to help the heart remodel and heal itself following stroke or heart attack, and so it should also help my heart to remodel following my surgery. This is the first time anyone has mentioned heart remodelling, I'm gonna have to do some more research on this. Suffice to say, anything that helps my heart heal itself sounds good to me!

Post Hosp Day Fifteen Summary: Health Update

2006-12-05T17:26:00.000+11:00

It's now three weeks since my heart surgery, so it seems like a good time for a health check. Out of 10, I would give myself a 7. I feel really good, which surprises me a lot. I expected that I would feel awful, and be quite limited in my movements and mobility. In actual fact, it's the exact opposite. I am very mobile, and can pretty much move as I please. I still have to bear in mind the no lifting, pushing, weight through chest rules and this places some limitations on what I can do. For example, it's kinda funny watching the role reversal with Yvette being the gentleman and opening and shutting the car door for me all the time!

There is no pain per se, although my chest still hurts when I cough or sneeze. What has developed is some muscle aches and pains, but these are bearable. They are most noticeable in the middle of my back, and across my shoulders. This is probably not surprising since the surgeon cut through my chest muscles and stretched my chest open for a number of hours. The neck and shoulder exercises that I am doing daily are probably adding to this too.

On exercises, upon leaving the hospital the physio gave me a sheet of rehabilitation exercises to perform several times a day. These were pretty easy, and subsequently I am doing twice as many exercises twice as often as recommended. I now have a new sheet of upgraded rehabilitation exercises. It consists of 10 warm up exercises, and then 30 exercises that are to be performed for a minute each. I'm supposed to start with the first 10 exercises in one session, and then work my way up to doing all 30 in the one session. The warm up exercises and the first 10 exercises are a breeze, and I am able to do them quite easily. This rehab stuff is no problem at all! But I spoke too early! Today I tried the second set of 10 exercises, and I am seriously hurting. Not sharp pain, but that really good pain that you feel after a session in the gym. That pain that says "yeah, this is good". I've now found another challenge, i'm gonna defeat these exercises!

The other component to my health at the moment is medication. I'm having blood tests every three or four days to monitor the effect of the warfarin (anti-coagulant). My level has been bouncing up and down a little since hospital, and for the last week has been slowly climbing. Today is another blood test day, and the nurse is struggling to find a vein without a scar from previous blood lettings! The doctor calls in the early evening, and my level is twice what it should be! It seems I am very sensitive to the warfarin, so I'm told not to take warfarin for four days. This is no problem to me, but Mom is in a panic. Hopefully she'll calm down soon!

So overall, health is good. Not getting tired so much. As Yvette would say, it's just a matter of developing some patience and not overdoing things........ My answer to her is "easier said than done!" :o)

Post Hosp Day Fourteen Summary: Small Victories

2006-12-05T17:09:00.000+11:00

Having loving parents and Yvette to support me is without doubt one of the major reasons for my good recovery from heart surgery. Unfortunately, this support sometimes goes a bit far ie: restrictive diets, wrapping me in cotton wool, keeping watch over me 24/7. However, today represents a breakthrough. Well, sort of anyway.

I have moved back home after spending the last two weeks at mom and dad's. It's so nice to be home, although mom and dad are concerned about how I am going to feed myself properly, so to appease them I am having lunch and dinner at their house. So a small victory, of sorts.

Despite Yvette's protestations, I have started doing some things around the house. Gardening, clothes washing, hanging out the clothes (have to carry only a few clothes to the line at a time, no basket lifting!), and tidying up my stuff scattered around the house. We have an argument because I might have, maybe, kind of did a little bit of vacuuming. But it was a really small amount, and I pushed the vacuum with both hands and didn't lift it. Honest. Gradually I wear her down, and win approval to do "light" jobs around the house. Another victory!

Mom and dad's house is about a 10 minute walk down a rather steep hill from my house. When I raise the idea of walking from my house down to mom's, it is met by a resounding "NO" from all parties. My relentless nagging is unsuccessful. In the late afternoon while Yvette is napping, I walk down to mom's for dinner. As the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding". I'll now be walking to mom's for lunch every day while Yvette is working. Chalk up another victory!

As funny as it sounds, a game has developed around me trying to push everyone to allow me to do what I want. I am continually scheming of ways to get what I want, and it's becoming quite fun! I'm looking forward to more victories! Oh and yes, there have been some losses, some rather big ones at that too! But I'll save those for another day. :o)

Post Hosp Day Thirteen Summary: Frustration, Depression, Anger, Alone

2006-12-02T11:20:00.000+11:00

Well I guess that all good things must eventually come to an end, and in my case, it was probably too good to be true. Leading up to and after my operation, I can honestly say that I have been able to remain positive about the entire experience. But this morning I wake up and I'm hit by a tidal wave of emotion all at once. It's the deadly combination: frustration, depression, anger, alone (FDAA). All of my information booklets warn against these emotions, and i've pretty much ignored them all because I haven't really felt any of them, but today they seem to have finally caught me!

I'm angry and frustrated at not being able to do the things that I would normally take for granted, and for missing out on events that I would love to have attended. Being treated like i'm disabled in some way is also really starting to annoy me, and today i've found myself very snappy and angry over the smallest things. The natural order is for these to lead to depression, and i'm feeling rather depressed about myself today. Despite the support that i'm receiving, all of these feelings are making me feel very cold and alone. It's not a pleasant feeling. Talking to someone might help, but I doubt i'd be able to explain all of these emotions to anyone anyway. Interestingly, blogging seems to help (I wonder if the Australian Health System will support blogging as an alternative medication for FDAA??). I think it's time for some time alone, so that I can sort myself out. I'm sure i'll be able to kick out the FDAA soon, so i'll talk to you all again in a few days......

Post Hosp Day Eleven Summary: Time Flies!

2006-11-30T09:36:00.000+11:00

Time flies! It is hard to believe that 17 days ago I was staring death in the face! While i'd like to be able to say that I grabbed death's balls and told him to go away, it wasn't quite like that. But i'll happily take a victory over death any way that I can! Suffice to say, I'm feeling good and looking forward to getting my life back to normal. In the meantime - to you, my adoring fans and disciples, I wish you all the best of health and happiness!

Post Hosp Day Ten Summary: Chronic Mitral Regurgitation

2006-11-30T08:42:00.000+11:00

Prior to my surgery, my cardiologist suggested that I act like a patient,and not look up my condition on the internet or text books, as it would probably cause more stress and worry than good. Despite the constant urge to surf the web, I resisted and with hindsight, this was probably the best thing I could have done. However, now that my surgery has been a success and my heart is all better, it's time to hit Wikipedia!

So basically I had a case of chronic mitral regurgitation. This was caused by Myxomatous degeneration of the mitral valve, which is apparently the most common form of mitral regurgitation, and is more common in males, and in advancing age (very rare at 29!). In my case, it was caused by a genetic abnormality from birth that results in a defect in the collagen that makes up the mitral valve. This causes a stretching out of the leaflets of the valve and the chordae tendineae (the tendons that attach the leaflet to the heart muscles). The elongation of the valve leaflets and the chordae tendineae prevent the valve leaflets from fully coming together when the valve is closed, causing the valve leaflets to prolapse into the left atrium (which re-opens that valve during the phase when it should be shut), thereby causing mitral regurgitation.

Here is a picture showing the position of the mitral valve. The leaflets of the valve (six of them)close together to form the oval valve, while the white tendons (chordae tendineae) attach the leaflets to the heart muscles. In my case, one of the chordae was not pulling down correctly, so the valve wasn't shutting properly. This is most likely the developmental genetic abnormality, and with age it has gradually worsened to the stage that the chordae and attached leaflet were flailing, presumably ruptured due to the constant strain (over a number of years) upon my heart.

The degree of severity of mitral regurgitation can be quantified by echocardiogram, by the percentage of the left ventricular stroke volume (blood volume being pumped through the heart) that regurgitates into the left atrium (the regurgitant fraction). The degree ranges from mild (<20 regurgitant fraction), moderate (20-40), moderately severe (40-60) and severe (>60). I had severe mitral regurgitation! How serious is this? Well basically, this means that for every beat of my heart, only 40% of the blood that is supposed to be pumped to my lungs and my body is actually getting there! The other 60% is flowing back into the wrong chamber of the heart (left atrium).

So what does severe chronic mitral regurgitation do to the heart? Well, initially the heart is able to compensate for less efficient pumping of blood around the body by getting bigger and pumping harder/more. So, the left ventricle develops eccentric hypertrophy (gets bigger, although 300% bigger as in my case is a major concern) in order to better manage the larger than normal stroke volume (the heart tries to pump more blood volume to compensate for the 40% efficiency rate). The eccentric hypertrophy and the increased diastolic volume combine to increase the stroke volume (to levels well above normal) so that the forward stroke volume (forward cardiac output) approaches the normal levels.

In the left atrium, the volume overload causes enlargement of the chamber of the left atrium (again in my case 300% of normal size is not good!), allowing the filling pressure in the left atrium to decrease. This improves the drainage from the pulmonary veins, and signs and symptoms of pulmonary congestion will decrease.

So ok, the heart can compensate, basically by getting bigger. But this can't last forever - so what happens long-term? Well basically, at some stage the heart can no longer compensate for the severe mitral regurgitation. The ventricular myocardium is no longer able to contract adequately to compensate for the volume overload of mitral regurgitation (basically the heart muscle gets worn out), and the stroke volume of the left ventricle will decrease. The decreased stroke volume causes a decreased forward cardiac output and an increase in the end-systolic volume. The increased end-systolic volume translates to increased filling pressures of the ventricular and increased pulmonary venous congestion. The individual will develop symptoms of congestive heart failure. These include shortness of breath, pulmonary edema, orthopnea, paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea, as well as symptoms suggestive of a low cardiac output state (ie: decreased exercise tolerance). Cardiovascular collapse with shock (cardiogenic shock) may be seen in individuals caused by sudden papillary muscle rupture or rupture of a chordae tendineae caused by the chronic strain placed upon the heart (sound familiar? This is probably why I collapsed).

The only treatments for severe mitral regurgitation are urgent mitral valve repair or replacement. Lucky for me, my valve has been repaired! Hooray! No-one is entirely sure how long the repair will last since the first mitral valve repairs were pioneered by a French heart surgeon, Dr. Alain F. Carpentier, in the mid 1980s. But i'm hopeful it will last forever! Here is a picture of how my mitral valve was repaired. I've had an annuloplasty, which is where the damaged part of the valve and chordae has been cut out, the rest of the valve stitched together and a ring used to tighten the valve so that it fits together properly.

When I get the echocardiograms from my cardiologist I'll post them so that you can all see the difference between my severely stuffed and newly repaired mitral valve.

Post Hosp Day Nine Summary: Flowers All Around

2006-11-28T12:59:00.000+11:00

Bored with all of the exercises and walking in circles that have become part of my rehabilitation routine, I have gotten Yvette to drop off my digital SLR so that I can add a photographing routine to my rehab program. Luckily mom and dad maintain a fabulous garden around their house, so there are plenty of things to take photos of. There are flowers of all shapes, sizes and colours!

My **** Really is 8 Inches Long!

2006-11-28T12:38:00.000+11:00

Ok, it's true. Men really like to compare the size of their ****s. While overexaggeration is rife, and many excuses are given for why on certain days the size of a **** might vary, there is no doubt that a big **** gives a man certain bragging rights. Well I can say with complete certainty that my **** is right up there with the best of them, coming in at 21cm (about 8 inches) as measured by Yvette.

It's also true that men have a fascination with looking at their ****s. I think Yvette is a little bit worried about my obsession with looking at my ****, but I tell her that it's completely normal for a man! Throughout the day, I often find myself with my clothes up and my finger running up and down every bump on my ****, i'm completely fascinated by it!

I've noticed a dramatic improvement in my **** each day since surgery. It was a bit soft straight after surgery, but now it has hardened up quite a bit. I show my **** to Yvette every day, and she has a touch and feel as well. She is also very impressed by it, and has been photographing my **** every day! Suffice to say, there will be some photos of my **** appearing soon, but for now just let me assure you all that my **** is in super good shape right now!

Oh, just to be clear, **** = scar, not any other four letter male object!

Post-Hosp Day Eight Summary: Over Ambitious

2006-11-28T12:13:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was a big day - three sets of visitors. Doesn't sound like much, but I was fairly tired by the end of the day. My pharmacist aunty was worried that I looked green and I couldn't keep my eyes open I was so tired. I dunno about the green bit, but being Asian I can't really open my eyes very wide on a good day anyway! As tired as I might have been, I force myself to stay awake so that I can keep Yvette company while she watches Australian Idol (and yes it hurt having to watch it all season, the sacrifices I make for her!). One of the singers, Damien, makes her whole body tingle (supposedly) and leaves her breathless. Apparently, he has to sing at our wedding! Apparently we're getting married one day?! Forcing myself to watch Idol, together with the cavalcade of guests earlier in the day, leaves me exhasuted and I'm off to bed early.

Day Eight begins brightly, it is a gorgeous day outside. Yvette has the day off, so I manage to convince mom to drop me off at home so I can spend the day with her. At last i'm back home, even if only for a few hours! It's so nice to be home. I kick my feet up on the couch, but unsurprisingly it doesn't last. The dragon lady drags me outside to hang the washing out. While i'm out there, I water the garden as well. We then head off to town, so that I can do my walk for the day - i'm to carry shopping bags while Yvette looks for a dress for her work Christmas Party! It's actually nice walking around in the sun. But by the end of the day I'm a bit tired. I think it's gonna be an early night again tonight.

There's a familiar pattern emerging - Rog gets over ambitious and wears himself out. Perhaps I should pay more attention to the rehabilitation booklet (which I still haven't read properly yet!).

Edited by Yvette: Grrr...First of all, its shivers down my back, hair standing up. Not tingling body. Second, I said he will be singing at my wedding, not ours. But then Rog alerted me to the fact that I would actually have to have a wedding for Damien to sing at. So that might be a problem. Maybe my birthday instead then. Third, he's not just one of the singers - he's the new Australian Idol 2006 Damien Leith. *little victory dance*. Fourth, Rog really likes Damien and enjoyed Idol more than I did. But he's secretly envious I think - each time Damien sings, Rog will say that it's unfair that someone with no singing lessons can sing so well. So there! :P

Post-Hosp Day Seven Summary: Rehab Rehab Rehab

2006-11-28T11:33:00.000+11:00

The key to recovering from heart surgery is the rehabilitation program. In particular, it is important to exercise regularly and continuously. I've been given a booklet entitled "Let's Get Moving" which provides guidelines for returning to everyday activity following heart surgery. In actual fact, it provides a detailed week by week guide to rehabilitation. For example, week one:
- activity level as in hospital - light activities of short duration (reading, watching tv etc)
- rise, shower, dress, relax, expect to feel fairly tired and rest when required
- no bending over (ie: don't take off socks myself etc)
- stay at home
- make yourself a cup of tea/coffee
- sedentary interests (blogging, light tabletop activities such as jigsaws)
- read newspapers or magazines
- walk up to 10 minutes twice a day on flat ground
- no lifting (2.5kg or more), no bending, no weight through arms

While this is all good, unsurprisingly I have pretty much ignored the booklet and am doing all the week two things (such as photography, writing, computer games, bending to lift things, taking off my own socks etc). Unfortunately mom has read the book and she is a bit of a rule Nazi, so there is a constant battle over what I can and can't do! It's a never ending chorus of "don't do that" or "you shouldn't be doing that". Suffice to say, what mom doesn't see she can't complain about! haha

The booklet also has guidelines for when I can drive again (6 weeks), mow the lawn (not that I do anyway, but 12 weeks), lift more than 2.5kg (6-8 weeks), return to work (8-12 weeks) and resume sexual activity (4 weeks). According to the booklet, the amount of physical effort involved in sex is no greater than climbing two flights of stairs! In my case, they must be 200 step flights of stairs! The booklet does say that if I can manage to do this without shortness of breath or discomfort - go ahead! I'm going out to test myself now - I want to be able to go to my rehab class and let all the old guys know that I'm having sex in week one!

The booklet has some other pearlers regarding returning to sexual activity. While the chestbone is still healing, it is recommended that I don't assume the upper dominant position - alternative positions are fine. Mmmmmm - sounds good to me! Also, a familiar partner(??!!), comfortable surrounds and a comfortable position will help to reduce anxiety - I guess I won't be going clubbing to pick up for a few months!

I'm booked in for the hospital's post-surgery rehabilitation program called "Self Management for Wellbeing". It's a program for "people with long-term health conditions". I'm not sure that I agree with this, since I don't have a long-term health condition - my heart is completely fixed! But then I guess I do have "other" problems that could be considered long-term!

Post-Hosp Day Six Summary: Aches and Pains

2006-11-25T14:32:00.000+11:00

I've been noticing it all week, but today my body is really aching. My shoulders and arms are sore, and there is a constant tightness across my chest that is mildly painful. Every now and then when I raise my arm, I hear a boney click. I wonder if this is all noticeable because i'm taking less painkillers. Or maybe it's due to the exercises I'm performing. My list of exercises consists of a number of arm, shoulder and leg movements, which are to be performed five times, and then the entire series of exercises repeated four times a day. Given that this exercise list is designed for men 65 and over, I have modified it so that I perform each exercise 10 times, and I repeat them five or six times a day. Given that this is probably more exercise than my arms have ever seen in my entire life, it's probably no surprise that my upper body is aching!

I'm surprised that I am relatively mobile and pain free - I wonder if this is because of my general level of fitness or because I'm so young. I've been telling everyone that there really isn't much pain, and there isn't. I'm so much tougher than those old men! But then a random sneeze hits me before I have time to put a pillow to my chest - and the PAIN is immense! My entire chest lights up in fire and I want to curl up in a ball on the floor. Ok - now I completely understand all the precautions and why the cotton wool is being wrapped around me.

I had another blood test this morning to monitor my warfarin levels. The nurse, a very nice older lady, asked me why I was on warfarin while she was inserting the needle into my vein. When I let her know, she was so surprised that she missed my vein! She was very apologetic afterwards, the poor lady.

Went for my first real walk outside with Yvette this afternoon. Mom's place is on a pretty steep hill, so we drove down to the beach, and walked along the nice flat path to the dog beach. It's so nice to be outside walking. It's hard to believe that i've only just had major heart surgery. I'm looking forward to coming down here for walks more often.

Post-Hosp Day Five Summary: Terrible Twins

2006-11-25T08:56:00.000+11:00

It's uncommon for mom and her twin sister to be together in the same place for their birthday, so Yvette and I have decided to organise a surprise dinner for them. Given Yvette's busy work schedule and my inability to lift anything bigger than a salt and pepper shaker, cooking ourselves seems out of the question. So we organise for our friend, who is a wonderful cook and has his own restaurant to cook for us.

I print out nice colourful birthday dinner invitations to give to everyone. Mom and her sister look at them and laugh. And only after several minutes do they realise that it's mom's home address that is on the invitation. It takes several more minutes for them to realise that the birthday dinner is for the "terrible twins", and this causes them to laugh some more!

Leading up to dinner time, I ask mom to cook some rice. This gets her thinking that we must be having Chinese food. I then tell her not to cook too much, which gets them all talking - they decide we must be having noodles. In danger of being caught out, I tell them that the reason why they shouldn't cook too much rice is because we "might" not need it at all! This really gets them going! They are really confused when I start setting the table, and when they ask if I want chopsticks, I tell them that I want big plates and knife and fork. They're talking amongst each other, and aren't sure what is going on now. Sometimes it's too easy!

Yvette arrives with the food, and it looks absolutely delicious! Sambal squid, chicken and tofu, abalone and chinese broccoli, and the piece de resistance, crayfish noodles!

To top it all off, we have a gorgeous cream custard fruit tart! It really can't get better than this! Until Yvette stabs me in the chest with her pointed finger several times after I fire off another witty joke - it really hurts! "You looked so healthy, I forgot that you were sick!" she tries to defend herself! I milk it for all it's worth, writhing my face in agony, and putting on a good show. Yvette is unhappy, but hey I gotta take advantage of this situation while it lasts! *mischievous grin*

Post-Hosp Day Four Summary: Ashes to Ashes

2006-11-25T08:32:00.000+11:00

The monotony of exercises and walking in circles has been broken by the commencement of the Ashes! It's a series of five games of cricket, between Australia and England, to win an urn containing the ashes of the original trophy that was won by Australia in a series between the two countries in 1882. In England, it was declared that the performance of the losing team was "the worst in living memory". And indeed, the most memorable quote of the time from the Sporting Times newspaper helped the legend of the Ashes develop:

In Affectionate Remembrance of English Cricket Which Died At The Oval on

29th August 1882

Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances

R.I.P

NB: The body will be cremated, and the ashes taken to Australia.

The game is played for six hours each day, for five days. It starts in the morning, and I am transfixed to the television. It's riveting stuff! England won the last series in a major shock, so everyone wants to see Australia kick their arse and get the Ashes back!

At night, my mom's younger sister arrives. She is here to visit for a few days. As if two of them wasn't bad enough, now there's three! The volume of talking and laughter in the house has risen accordingly, and in complete and utter desperation I have taken to shutting myself in my room and reading Harry Potter!

Life in Suburbia

2006-11-23T10:38:00.000+11:00

Life in suburbia is so quiet. Where I live, there is hardly any traffic, and most people work during the day so they're not home. There is a regular chorus of birds around during the day, but the only other animal one is likely to find around the house is the odd stray cat, or a neighbour's noisy dog.

Contrast with my grandparents who live in South East Asia. Their house is surrounded by three large dams, where they keep fish. They also have lots of chickens and ducks. I called them to let them know that I was ok after my surgery, and my grandmother says that they have a giant python in their backyard! It has been eating chickens for the last few days, and yesterday it ate two and now it's too full to move! It's lying in the backyard, resting peacefully, knowing full well that it's next meal is just a tiny slither away. I think my grandma has taken a photo, so i'll have to try and get hold of it.

In the meantime, Call-A-Python-Hunter has been called and are coming in to remove the python. I wonder if they'll cook it??

Post-Hospital Day Three Summary - Loosening the Cotton Wool

2006-11-23T10:13:00.000+11:00

It's been a big day of advances. I managed to convince my mom and aunty that nothing terrible was going to happen to me if they left me alone in the house and went shopping for a while. And it only took 20 minutes of arguing! I've also managed to convince them that I am capable of pouring my own cup of tea, and carrying my food to the table. They even allowed me to leave the house in the care of Yvette for a while, although I think dad helped me win this battle.

My grandmother (who lives nextdoor) was alarmed yesterday when she saw me walking outside on the driveway during my ten minute exercise session. Today she stormed in earlier in the morning and was terrified something was wrong because I hadn't been outside for my morning walk! Given that it was about 10C and windy, there was no way I was going outside. After some discussion, I think she now understands a little bit better that I don't need to be completely wrapped up in cotton wool and protected like an Egyptian mummy!

There's also been a loosening on the ruling of foods that I can eat. It seems that I am now allowed to eat eggs if they are in cakes etc, just not eggs on their own. Mum is still not convinced by this though, and still keeps complaining. I am also allowed to eat abalone (but not other shellfish) so my diet is about to suddenly get very expensive! haha

My friend Juan from Barcelona called me last night. He was distraught when I told him that I was going in for heart surgery, and it was pleasant surprise to hear his voice on the phone. He is the most wonderful guy, and I'm looking forward to advancing our work collaboration further.

I have decided that I am not going to read or reply to any emails pertaining to work for a while, just to that I can truly "rest". I have to admit that I'm not particularly confident that this will last however, because like half of the world's population I live on email. So many times I catch myself with the cursor hovering over a work email, begging me to click it. I must resist!

The pain in, surrounding, on top of, below, on, near, above my chest is subsiding markedly, although I'm not sure if this is because I have overcome my severe aversion to pain (read complete wuss) or whether it's the constant dosage of paracetamol talking. In consultation with Dr Yvette, I have decided to try lowering my dosage of pain killers. It would be nice to reduce the number of damn pills I have to take!

The Road to Recovery

2006-11-22T09:53:00.000+11:00

It's the start of my third day out of hospital and already I have a routine established for tackling the arduous road to Rogovery. I wake up around 7am, and perform some exercises (neck, arm and leg movements, then some deep breathing and coughing), have a shower and then some breakfast (together with 7 tablets). At mid morning I do my first repeat of the exercises and then go for a 10 minute walk in a loop around the driveway outside mum's house, by which time I'm lightly sweating.

Lunch is around midday (another four tablets), and after a short rest it's my third series of exercises for the day. Early afternoon, and I go for a second 10 minute walk. The cat follow's me around, I think he's confused by how slow and unsteady I am walking - it's quite comical really!

Mid afternoon exercises are followed by a small snack, and then some rest time reading a book. I'm currently reading Harry Potter for the first time, and while the first book was total crap, the third book was kind of interesting.

I do a set of exercises before dinner (five to eight tablets depending on required dosage) and a final set before bed (two tablets).

Adding to the tediousness are the list of things I can't do. No lifting. No pushing with my arms (or elbows - no cheating!). No leaning on arms or elbows (this is a tricky one not to do). No bending over or reaching forwards too far. No crossing my legs when sitting down (haven't figured out why not yet). No driving. No going to public places where people might spread their dirty germs to me. No going outside in extreme hot or cold or windy weather (like today). No sex. The list is endless...........

Having said all of that, I'm glad that I am completely repaired, and if these small sacrifices are all that is required for me to return to full health then I'll gladly take it. Rogovery - here I come!

Black...erm...Male Spherical Things

2006-11-22T09:17:00.000+11:00

Rog, Alan and some of his other op-buddies have been improving daily. They've taken to strolling the ward corridors for exercise and visiting each other to exchange recovery progress notes and general gossip. After one such jaunt down the hallway, Rog returns with this to report:

"Alan's balls have turned black!" Rog announces.

"???" I say.

"Yeah, this other old guy said that as well. He told me his balls are black in colour. He even asked if I wanted to look at them."

"So did you?" I squeak.

"No bloody way!!" Rog shuddered.

They figured that having the catheters in would have irritated them. And when their catheters were taken out, it must have bruised their erm... male spherical things to the point of blackness.

"But what about yours?? Are they alright?" I'm nearly too scared to ask but just had to know.

"Nah, mine are fine," Rog answers breezily.

Later, Alan comes knocking on the door, pushing his IV drip hurriedly along, together with his wife, daughter and granddaughter in tow.

"I've got news for you," he exclaims excitedly.

Plonking down on a chair, Alan said:

"You know how I told you about down there," waving his arms in the general vicinity between his knees as he speaks.

"Ya...?" we prompt.

"They're burnt! The black bits are now peeling off, and the nurses have even given us cream for them. You'd think they'd warn us about this beforehand."

Turns out those black bits were iodine burns. When they go into surgery, their skin is doused liberally with antiseptic iodine solutions to kill or prevent the growth of bad bugs. Looks like some of the more sensitive parts of the skin reacted to the iodine and caused irritation and minor burns. (Don't worry, it must've been quite minor, otherwise Alan would not have been running around bragging about it)

Definitely extra info needs to be added to the patient information booklet.

"So are you sure your [male spherical things] are fine? No burns?" I venture timidly, even though I'd asked him earlier.

"Oh there was some dark-ish skin peeling, I thought they were dry skin so I just peeled them off."

"???" I say again.

"What?? I had heart surgery, not balls surgery. That's the last thing I'm worried about at the moment!"

A Tale of Twins

2006-11-21T11:57:00.000+11:00

You'd think that if two identical female twins did something together that they'd be ultra efficient, and things would take half the time that they normally would. You'd think, but you'd be wrong!

Yesterday my mom and aunty took more than an hour to chop up a whole pig into large pieces - it takes my grandmother about 10 minutes and she is over 70! Today we went to cut some extra sour Chinese vegies from the garden. I managed to cut the first two in no time (ok, I'm probably not allowed to be doing this at the moment!), and it took them 10 minutes to cut the next five!

Having said all that, it's clear that they are tremendously happy together, their endless nattering to each other is filling the entire house! And it's making my road to recovery all the more pleasant. If only they wouldn't try and feed me so much damn food - I'm gonna become Big Rog soon!

Life on Warfarin

2006-11-21T11:47:00.000+11:00

One of the major fears after any type of open heart surgery is blood clots. To overcome this, patients are prescribed anti-clotting drugs like warfarin. The prognosis for patients with heart valve replacements is daily warfarin for life. Luckily for me, since a piece of my own heart has been used to fix itself, I only need a low dose of warfarin for two months.

How does warfarin work? Apparently it prevents blood cells from aggregating together. Does it work? Yes, so well in fact that if a person taking warfarin gets a cut or scratch, the blood won't clot there either! Obviously this raises the issue of taking care not to cut oneself or risk bleeding to death. Sobering thought really.

This morning I woke up, and felt a big booger in my nose. As is natural, I stuck my finger in to remove the slimy thing. However along with booger came a little spot of blood. And then the warm sensation of blood slowly flowing into my nostril. It took more than five minutes to stem the tide of blood! I have a feeling that this is going to be a long two months!

Rise of Rog

2006-11-21T07:02:00.000+11:00

Just before leaving hospital, I had the opportunity to watch an ultrasound of my repaired heart. While everyone's been telling me that the repair was successful, seeing it with my own eyes really brings it home to me.

So I have arisen like a phoenix from the ashes. The new Rog. While the phoenix arose in an improved golden form, my rebirth has involved no such obvious physical change. I guess it's hard to improve upon the old version! :o)

What has changed are my thoughts. I've spent a lot of time on my own recently, and I can safely say that this entire experience has not been negative. I've no doubts that in the coming weeks I'll be spending lots of time contemplating, but I know that I face this in a positive frame of mind, which will surround me with a mental coat of golden armour to face the future. So look out for the New & Improved Rog!

Oh and don't worry, this serious stuff won't last much longer, funny witty Rog is still here, and he's improved too!

Rog is Back!

2006-11-21T06:51:00.000+11:00

Left the hospital yesterday morning, and am now staying at mom's. Haven't lived here for more than 10 years, but I'll be here for at least a week! Seems like the best of both worlds. I get good food on tap, and it ensures that mom and dad don't have a nervous breakdown because they can see that i'm ok ALL of the time (they have set up a roster to monitor me 24/7!).

It's been a real rollercoaster ride. I'm looking forward to gradually adding little (and sometimes large) tales of my adventures so that you can all share my journey.

For now, I just want to let everyone know that I am feeling very well. I'm looking forward to rehabilitation and getting back to being even better than normal.

I do wanna say a huge thanks to all of you for your prayers and tremendous support! I'll never be able to describe just how much of a positive effect this has had for me during this time. Thanks everyone!

Lastly, I have to say a special thankyou to Yvette! While this blog has mainly been about me and how I have dealt with major heart surgery, it's effected her just as much (well possibly not quite physically the same!). She's managed to hold things together, and even provide wonderful daily updates to everyone cataloguing my recovery. Behind every great man there is a great woman, I guess we all know who mine is! I must say that I'm thankful she didn't change my blog background to pink or anything during my absence though! :o) I'm happy to say that she will continue to be posting too, providing her take on my story.

The Eehk Factor

2006-11-19T21:52:00.000+11:00

Rog wanted me to write a post about a particular post-op event but he didn't quite know just how to word it. I'm not sure I know how to either. So I'll just write it the way he tells me.

"You know, I'm a regular kinda guy. It's like clockwork everyday - in I go, do it and I'm out again. Takes no more than a few minutes each time."

"But now," Rog says, scrunching his face, "it's taking forever. I've already been in three times today. I sit there for 10 minutes and nothing happens."

"So you can't go? If you can't, you can't. You shouldn't force it. It's the drugs that's stopping it," I put in my two cents worth.

"Yeah, everyone says don't strain, don't force it. I really feel like going, its there... but I'm scared if I strain my stitches will open!

"I don't know how hard to push. Should I go 'eehk' or 'eeeeeehk'??" Rog says, half squatting-half bowlegging to demonstrate as he speaks.

At this point, I look at my delicious chocolate biscuit I was munching on, suddenly it doesn't look so delicious anymore.

"It's not like there's a scale of 1 to 10 of how hard to strain. I can't get a nurse to come in and tell me if I'm pushing hard enough or not..."

Rog is visibly distressed. He doesn't like not being able to go. Initially, on Post-Op Day 2, he was very ambitious and asked for a bedpan. The nurse wasn't surprised when nothing happened (he called it stagefright) because the drugs prevent that particular bodily function. Post-Op Day 3, freed from all his tubes, he leapt out of bed and dashed to the loo. But still no success.

Finally, after four long days, mission accomplished. "And it was a big one too!" Rog said. Luckily it didn't cause a blockage or overflow - has been known to happen.

Update from Rog's Bedside

2006-11-18T05:10:00.000+11:00

Rog is up and on his feet walking around abit, but he still has to take it very easy. So, blogging, being the intense activity it is, would be too tiring for him for now. Still, he can't bear to be away from his blog for too long. He thinks his blog and his fans will fall apart if they don't hear from him. (He doesn't believe me when I tell him his visitor count has increased since I started blogging - readers are wanting more of the super-talented Yvette). So he dictates an update which I have to type up verbatim:

DAY 4
Things I’ve learnt to hate about my surgery:
- Intubation tube
- Constant pain
- Numerous tubes hanging out of my body
- Complete loss of modesty (back-less hospital gown and wee-bottle)

Things I’ve learnt to enjoy:
- My fixed heart
- Topnotch care from excellent staff
- PCAM – patient controlled analgesia of morphine
- Pay TV – Lifestyle channel
- Love and support from my many world wide followers

Progress Reports

2006-11-18T04:23:00.000+11:00

Yvette is still getting the hang of this blogging thing. In between hospital duties and catching up on beauty sleep, Yvette has been rather slack with updating the blog. She's not as addicted to blog as Rog is, mainly cos being a personal frenchnurse-maid is very time consuming. But she's nearly up there with him in terms of verbal blab.

Brief update: Rog is recovering extremely well. Everyday there are big improvements.

For the worldwide soap-opera followers of this blog who are interested in detailed accounts of Rog's recovery, Yvette will be backdating some new posts to keep a logical timeline. So when checking for updates this week, pls keep scrolling back to Monday 14 Nov - there may be new posts popping in between later posts you might have already seen.

ps thanks to no. 7 for such a pretty picture of yvette

Handsome Cardiologist

2006-11-15T23:46:00.000+11:00

We saw Rog's handsome cardiologist today. The first time he walked past, he was bopping along to sounds from the trademark white earphones in his ears. Very hip - I wonder what's on his Ipod. The second time he walked past, we see him in time to wave to him. He stops to say hello.

We tell him Rog's surgery went well and his recovery is progressing along nicely. He is visibly relieved and pleased when he finds out the valve was repaired, not replaced. He tried to ring Rog on the day of the op, he says, but Rog had already gone into theatre. So he'll drop in to say hello on Friday.

For the few minutes we chatted, I sensed a genuine warmth and empathy. He was extremely nice, great body language and showed concern for Rog and his family too.

To be honest I was abit surprised. Rog had always liked his handsome cardiologist - confident in his ability and thought he was nice. Myself though had found handsome cardiologist's manner a tad abrupt for my liking. I certainly had no doubt about his ability. I'd pegged him as a high-energy, competent, Type-A personality kinda guy. But I had grumbled to Rog before about tiny nuances in his manner which made me not like him entirely.

Today after chatting to him, I changed my mind. He was so nice I could feel myself melting.

I think I prefer if he wasn't too nice. Handsome cardiologist + highly competent + great personality = lethal combination. He was making my heart flutter, if he continues being nice, I'd be needing a heart doctor myself in no time.

PS British HR professional who has requested I keep an eye out for cute doctors to send their way, sorry but his handsome cardiologist is married with kids. You might have to stick to your Scottish doctor for now...

The Phonecall

2006-11-14T13:27:00.000+11:00

12:21pm The registrar rings. Rog's operation is over, he says. "We could repair his valve which is good for him. He is doing very well, he is back in ICU now." We can see him after one hour.

Thank God.

Thank you for all your support, well wishes and countless prayers.

Pre-dawn

2006-11-14T08:00:00.000+11:00

Pre-dawn wake-ups are not exactly my forte, but I doubt I'll miss today's morning call. I want to check in on Rog around 6am and make sure he's all feather-dusted before he is sedated around 7am and wheeled into theater. Still, I'm not taking any chances. I set 3 alarms, staggered at five minute intervals. Backup in case of alarm clock malfunctions or if I snooze the alarms. I need not have worried. I now know how light sleepers feel.

When I get to the hospital slightly before 6am, I find Rog enjoying a cartoon alone. I had arrived before his parents did! Yay - brownie points for me.

Rog had woken up about 3am - so much for the sleeping tablet, watched numerous educational programs on cable's Lifestyle channel, had a bit of a shave (yeah, right!), had a final antiseptic wash and tucked himself into bed. He is calm and looking forward to getting that pesky mitral valve repaired.

The nurses come in to move him onto a wheelie-bed and give him some tablets to start the sedation. He will start to feel drowsy, they say, and when he does, just let him doze off and don't keep him talking. Not surprisingly, after the nurses leave, Rog continues chatting and tells his aunt how he fainted at work. Not that easy to shut him up. But soon, the chemicals take over his strong natural instinct to yabber on and he starts drifting off. Just when we think it's safe to leave, he grunts and opens his eyes and tries to talk again, but this time he is slurring. This continues on for abit. He'll start to snore, his mom will ask him "are you awake, Rog", and he'll groggily mumble yes. So we hang around for a few minutes, then we whisper 'see you later' and leave.

As Rog enters the blissful realm of unconsciousness, we are left with the stark reality of the morning that stretches ahead. We wait and we pray.

Conversations

2006-11-13T23:33:00.000+11:00

Ingrid the nurse -
The nurse looking after Rog on the day he checked in, Ingrid, is not the stereotypically 'hot' nurse he was hoping for. She is certainly cute though. Better still, turns out Ingrid and Rog know each other. They used to catch the same school bus to (different) high schools years ago!

Alan the op buddy -
Alan checked into the room next to Rog. He'd brought along deer hunting photos to show Rog. They'll both be great support to each other in the coming week.

Russell the resident -
Russell kindly explained the op in more detail to us. He tells us Mr Fixit operates on all types of heart surgery, and he would be looking forward to performing Rog's relatively simple op - it'll be a walk in the park for him compared to other valve repair/replacement/multiple bypass combos. Mr Fixit will be assisted by a registrar who is a professor from India. The registrar is training to be accredited here. It's very reassuring to know that Rog's heart will be in the hands of such a highly qualifed team.

T-minus One Day and Waiting

2006-11-13T22:17:00.000+11:00

The day before the op. The day Rog starts his stay at the hospital. We go to our favourite breakfast place and Rog orders his favourite eggs Benedict. He savours every mouthful, it's gonna be egg-less Benedict for the next three months. Back at home, we relax for abit, he gives the frenchmaid a few lastminute orders, and Yvette the photographer takes last photos of the soon-to-be-cut-open as yet scarless chest.

Rog wants to go for a walk as he'll be on his back for the most of next week or so, but the wet weather was not inviting. We stretch our legs in a department store instead, and do some last-minute pyjama shopping. Then at 2pm, we rock up to the Cardiothoracic Unit at Hotel Le Hospitale Royale.

"I have a reservation for today," Rog announces to the receptionist. Ok...he may be a seasoned traveller, but reservation? Somehow I don't think he should be confusing a hospital and a hotel. But at least he'll be getting more attention and care in this particular 'hotel'.

We check in to the room and poke around the different wall switches. A stethoscope's hanging on the wall. We wipe it down with medi-swabs and try to listen to his heart, but we can't hear the murmur. Maybe it's miraculously cured? Or maybe we don't know what to listen for...?

The rest of the afternoon passes with members of the cardiothoracic team trickling in to say hello and re-introduce themselves, so we meet everyone who will be working on/with him: nurse, resident, pharmacist, physiotherapist, Mr Fixit and his posse of registrar and resident, anaesthetist (this word is easier to spell than to say). The doctors say a quick 2-minute hello. I guess just so you know they know you are here and on their list. The others take his medical history, take blood and wee samples, ECG, BP, skin patch test (to make sure he's not allergic to iodine and sticky skin bandages), explain procedures for the next few days.

After a few hours, we've met everyone. We sit in the room, stare at the walls and start to count our toes. That's when we decide to escape.

Fast forward a couple more hours, we're back at the hospital. After watching some TV, I leave him with his sleeping tablet so he gets an early night.

New PJs

2006-11-13T20:00:00.000+11:00

Being the Aussie bloke that he is, Rog doesn't have much in the way of proper pyjamas. Aside from a pair of blue spotty pjyama pants which he whips out in winter, it's usually just boxers or trackydacks. With his upcoming invalid status, he won't be dressing up. But daggy clothes won't cut it to lift his spirits though. Not only does he want to look his best for his nurses, he also has to be presentable for potential visitors. So it was time for some shopping and who else to the rescue, but the multi-talented Yvette.

My first port of call was my favourite pyjama person Peter Alexander, but unfortunately he didn't have much for guys in his latest catalogue. I surf, looking for sites selling funky boy pjs, but no luck. The only site I come across has blond men who could pass as porn stars modelling slinky satiny tiger striped pyjamas. Er, I don't think so. I sense a definite niche market opportunity here - online store selling normal looking comfy pjs for straight guys. Plan B - good old fashioned shopping at a real shop. An hour before we are due to be at the hospital we duck into a department store and 20 minutes later, come back out with three sets of pyjamas at absolute bargain prices.

Disclaimer: in no way did I influence Rog's shopping decisions (this time). He happily chose these himself. Carson from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy would be extremely proud. For anyone planning to visit, it'll certainly be worth the price of admission to see Rog in his new PJs.

World's Shortest Heart Surgery!

2006-11-13T17:59:00.000+11:00

Checked into hospital at 2pm, met the surgeon, nurses, anaesthetist, and physio. Had an ECG taken, blood pressure etc. Checked out of the hospital at 5.15pm. I'm now back at home having dinner!

Yvette and I are laughing our heads off! We spent all afternoon in hospital, basically staring at the clock as time slowly passed by, completely bored out of our minds. After seeing all of the team, it was clear that the only thing left to do was eat dinner, shower and go to sleep. And it wasn't even 5pm! I couldn't bear to spend more time in my room with nothing to do, so I asked the nurse whether we could go out for a while - she talks to the resident and lets us know that we can go out until just before 8pm! Without another word, we're out the door in a flash, laughing all the way!

So i'm enjoying my last few hours of freedom before surgery in the comforts of home. This little distraction is the perfect pre-surgery medicine! :o)

See You All Soon!

2006-11-12T23:32:00.000+11:00

Well it's the night before I check into hospital, so this is probably the last post I will personally make for the next week or so. However, Yvette will be making regular updates, which will be verbatim from my hospital bed. Thanks all for your kind wishes, and I can assure you that nothing as small as a minor heart problem will tear me away from my blog! :o)

Twin Telepathy

2006-11-12T23:04:00.000+11:00

Like millions of other people around the world, I've often wondered how twin telepathy works. How is it that they often know what each other is thinking, even if they are miles apart? My mom's identical twin sister arrived today from overseas, and despite living so far apart for all of my life, they still manage to finish each other sentences, and it's general madness when they are together!

But tonight I think I have figured out their trick. We called my mother's parents, to let them know that everyone is ok. We call, and I chat to my grandfather for a minute, and then he goes to get my grandmother. We decide that it would be nice to use two handsets so that we can semi-conference call, so while my aunty has one handset, my mom goes to get the other. They meet in the hallway, and start asking each other if they can hear them, but they're standing like next to each other. One asks the other, and the other says yes, and so they start chatting to each other, through the handsets! After a little while my aunty asks why are they talking with the handsets when there's really no need. But they continue talking none the less. An extremely comical series of events! Maybe this is the twin telepathy trick?

Information Folder

2006-11-12T17:37:00.000+11:00

The Heartbeat association of volunteers have provided me with a folder of information for heart surgery. It contains booklets about heart surgery, the surgery team, information about the heart and such, and a booklet about rehabilitation. Two things of note:

The first page I turn to is headed "When will I be able to resume sexual activity?". It seems that it will be four weeks until heart surgery patients can resume such activities, and even then the behaviour has to be modified. Quite simply, foreplay is out, and the patient is reduced to lying on their back. My cousin is an occupational therapist, and during lunch she tells me that one of her major jobs is helping people resume sexual activity - and confirms that this basically involves informing older people about sexual positions, level of activity etc. My poor cuz! haha

The other thing I learn from the information booklets is that the expected duration of hospital stay is 4-8 days. The begs the challenge - can I recover and get out of hospital 4 days after surgery? I float the idea with a few people, who aren't particularly receptive. They all recommend very strongly that I take it easy. As if i'm not going to, it's my heart we're talking about after all! Having said all of that, I decide that taking necessary care and rest, I am going to try and be back at home in 4 days!

Antiseptic Bathing

2006-11-12T17:24:00.000+11:00

Part of the instructions that I received during the pre-operation preparation was that I need to shower with a special antiseptic soap the day prior to going into hospital. The soap actually comes with some instructions. Basically the key areas that require special washing are nose, face, armpit, bellybutton, groin and bum. It is highlighted several times that special attention should be paid to folds of skin - at least I don't have any of those around my tum tum.

It's not surprising that we have lots of germs growing in these areas, but i'm wondering just how effective this bodywash is? I'm debating whether I should be showering three or four times a day, and just how far up my cavities I need to wash?

Obviously they are worried about infections, and they're trying to kill off potential sources of bugs. I notice myself picking my nose with my finger as I'm typing, looks like it's a bad habit that needs to stop while i'm in hospital! I'm also concerned, because I think I have something growing between my toes, so I douse my feet with the antispetic soap as well. And what about my visitors to hospital? I hope that they have some sort of anti-bug washing before they come to see me!

Things That I'll Miss

2006-11-12T17:04:00.000+11:00

Given that I have an eight to ten week recovery period, there are some things that I am seriously going to miss. The first of these has a sleek, sexy body. Built for comfort and speed. Excellent handling, likes it a bit rough. Wonderful sound system, loud and grunty!

The other thing that I think I'll miss most is my little baby. I spend most of my day with her, and I can't keep my hands off her. She is very cute, and I take her everywhere.

Fun in the Sun

2006-11-12T16:41:00.000+11:00

Had lunch with my cousin. Well actually she is really my dad's cousin, but she is younger than me! So we've always grown up being cousins. She has the biggest smile, and always makes me laugh! Drinking a glass of wine in the sun, its so nice to relax. Not having any real cousins nearby, she has become my surrogate cousin. We catch up now and then, go clubbing sometimes (although she is far crazier than even me!). She is so much fun!

She's got me a prez - it's Jamie Oliver's new book!! As part of the deal, I have to cook her a lunch or dinner. I think i'll be cooking her a few!

The book looks fantastic - lot's of nice photos of scrumptious looking food. But my cousin points out the best bit - cartoon animals showing where all of the different cuts of meat come from - such an excellent idea! We both declare we are not eating rump meat again!

The Blong of Rog

2006-11-11T12:26:00.000+11:00

It appears that there is some dissension in the ranks of my loyal readers. Apparently my blog is too long, and this is impacting upon people's everyday lives across the world! I've heard of eyes popping out in Switzerland, inability to work because attention is placed on reading blog in the UK, and general inability to do anything in Australia due to fixation with blog (and no this person was not me!). However, in Malaysia there is a report of profound enlightenment, where my detailed account of proceedings has provided tremendous insight to my readers. Given it's worldwide appeal, my blog may yet reach Biblical proportions!

To overcome the conception that my blog might be too long, I have created a new term, "blong", to describe my blog and all others like it. Pass the word around my children, so that the world may be enlightened by blong!

T-minus Two Days and Counting

2006-11-11T11:46:00.000+11:00

Two days until surgery, it's time to list out what I need to take with me to hospital. Following, is my prioritised list:

1) clean, holeless underwear (not boxer shorts - these supposedly fall down a lot in hospital!)
2) a pair of pyjama pants (the only ones I own)
3) seven sleeping t-shirts
4) condoms
5) my ipod with LOTS of music (to drown out the sound of babbling relatives)
6) a set of cards that I have labelled, with orders written in big letters such as "rub me", "srcatch my back", "massage my head", "get me a beer" etc

No doubt I have forgotten things - but I am sure that Yvette will cherish waiting upon me hand and foot! :o)

Temporary Blog Secretary

2006-11-11T03:35:00.000+11:00

With impending heart surgery upon me, I have to make an important decision, that has serious ramifications for the future - I need to find a temporary blog writer for me while I am in hospital. I am conscious of maintaining the high level of verbal blurbing that I have managed to date, together with a slick sense of humour and infinite charm. It is certainly going to be no small task indeed for my temporary replacement to maintain this high standard! But for the sake of my adoring readers (you!), I aim to find the very best.

Mom and dad are out of the question, since they don't know the existence of this blog - in fact if they ever found out I think they'd be terribly distraught - I don't think they'd quite understand the reasoning behind my ramblings. In reality, I guess that there is really only one choice. Yvette. She's sexy, but can she type? Well I guess we'll find out, because from Monday onwards you'll be hearing from her. So please be warned, I won't be able to guarantee the quality, length, or subject content. Suffice to say, any posts that do not paint me in an angelic light will surely have been altered from the original form that is delivered from my mouth to Yvette....... :o)

P.O.P. Will it Ever End?

2006-11-11T01:10:00.000+11:00

It’s about 11am, and it’s time for tea and coffee. The rest of the morning will be taken up by three things – chest x-rays, measurements and blood collection, and meeting our respective surgeons (where possible) and anaesthetists. Given that I already have my chest x-ray from not long ago, and I’ve already met my surgeon Mr Dixit, this shouldn’t take long. Patients are called out individually, and I’m not one of the first, so I get some more bonding time with my buddy. We shake hands and introduce each other properly – his name is Alan. I like him already, we’ve spent all morning talking and joking. Within a few minutes I know his life history. His brother had a valve replacement more than 30 years ago, and died ten years later. Alan says that he was diagnosed with an aortic valve problem at age 16, and since he has been monitored regularly they detected that he needs a replacement early this year, and he has been on a waitlist ever since. He has four kids, two boys and two girls. One of his daughters, and his wife, have accompanied him. He gets called out to see the nurse, so I chat to another guy. He is a lot quieter, I think he is really scared about the surgery. But we have a good chat, and trade our stories. I feel like I am at a gathering of war veterans trading our experiences. Then he is called out, and I’m on my own. The volunteer lady comes to chat, and we talk for ages. I'm beginning to wonder if P.O.P. will ever end!

Finally I’m called by the nurse, who weighs me, measures my height, and collects four tubes of blood for blood typing, HIV testing and a couple of other things. She then tells me that she needs to take a swab from my nose, armpit and groin. I don’t mind this, so she gets the cottonbud and sticks it in my nose – and then to my horror she proceeds to use the same one to swipe my armpit and then groin! Gross!

I return to the group, still in shock, and almost immediately the anaesthetist arrives and calls me out. Like my cardiologist, he is a fairly handsome forty something guy. We go to a meeting room, and he describes how he is going to sedate me for the surgery. Its pretty straightforward, he describes the drugs etc. He also tells me that I am the first patient for Tuesday morning – so my surgery will be at 7am. I ask him about how common allergic reactions to the drugs are – he tells me a story about a patient a while ago who had a serious anaphylactic response to the anaesthetic after his heart surgery while led to his body shutting down because the blood couldn’t get to his organs. Injecting adrenalin or noradrenaline into him did not fix the problem, so they had to take him back to the operating theatre, open him up and the surgeon had to take the heart in his hands and pump it to get the blood around the patient’s body. Turns out that the drugs had dilated all of the patient’s blood vessels, meaning that there wasn’t enough pressure for his heart to pump the blood around his body – but they were able to fix it. Sounds like a horror story, but surprisingly I’m not fazed by it.

I return to the big room to say goodbye to my heartbuddy. Actually, I go back to let him know that I’m first for surgery! :o) I wish the other guys well, and then I’m off home. I’m actually feeling very positive about the surgery, and now I think I’m not worried about the recovery either. In fact, I’m looking forward to challenging myself and trying to recover as quickly as I can.

P.O.P. Rehabilitating my Body

2006-11-11T01:05:00.000+11:00

Next we meet the physiotherapist. She looks young, not a day older than 23! She’s not the first to ask if I am a patient, and she probably won’t be the last. She also has a booming voice. She explains the exercise regime that is going to be placed upon us. We practise breathing techniques (it really is becoming a pregnancy class!), and arm, leg and trunk exercises. The exercises are designed so that we don’t put pressure on our chest, which normally happens when we use our arms. So we learn how to clench our butt cheeks, and wiggle our bums from the back of the seat to the front edge without using our arms. Our physiotherapist jokes that girls tend to be better at the latter – I think from my experiences I’d agree with that! :o)

We also learn that our best friend for the next week is going to be Mr Teddy. He’s not actually a teddybear, but a small pillow that we will be given. We are to hold it close to our chest with both arms crossed over it whenever we try and move our bodies, or cough, or laugh, so that we make sure that we don’t place strain on our chest. The idea of a group of eight grown men walking down hospital corridors hugging their pillows tightly amuses me!

P.O.P. The Operation and Beyond

2006-11-11T00:57:00.000+11:00

Next is the head nurse of the Cardiothoracic Unit, and she describes the entire process pre-surgery, during surgery and post-surgery. She hands out an antiseptic bodywash that we have to use during showers commencing two days prior to the surgery date. The day prior to surgery we have to check into the hospital at 2pm. The shaving nurse will come around and shave us – to which I ask if I can keep my one chest hair? I become the butt of my own joke when the nurse asks me to show it to her so that she can decide! On the day of surgery we are going to be woken up at 5am, shower and then if we are the first patient for the day, prepare for surgery, which will happen around 7am when we are drugged and then taken into the operating theatre. The second patient will have breakfast, and go into surgery after the first one comes out, around 11am to midday. It turns out that the guy sitting next to me is my surgery buddy – we have the same surgeon in Tuesday. We wanna toss for first position (nothing would be worse than waiting!).

As part of the surgery, we’ll have some tubes put into our abdomen – one into the bladder to remove urine. We’ll have catheters inserted into our wrists, and also into our carotid arteries in our neck. And a breathing tube inserted down our throats. The sternum will be cracked down the middle, our hearts/valves/arteries/liposuction will be fixed and then our chestbone wired together, chest stitched shut and we’ll be taken to the high dependency Intensive Care Unit. We’ll gradually come out of the anaesthetic, for the first person probably around 7-8pm. As the requirement for the various tubes/catheters is no longer necessary they will be removed. The nurse passes around two large photos, one of a patient in the operating theatre, and one of a patient in the HDICU. Some people don’t want to see them, I choose not to because I’ve seen plenty of patients in surgery before. A gloomy pall falls over everyone though – I think reality has hit a bit, and not even the continual joking and banter that have been going on all morning can protect against it. I look around, and most people are really scared. I’m so glad that no-one came with me – I think they’d be really freaked out right now!

On the day after the operation (day 1) we are transferred to the Step-Down Unit, where we’ll stay for a day or two. We’ll still have pee removal systems in place, and the throat tube will be replaced with an oxygen mask. Our heart rate and rhythm will be continually monitored by a nurse who will be assigned to each patient. We’ll also be given the little green button, which is used for self administering morphine when we decide that we need it. This gets us all excited, until we’re told that only the first click will work, and subsequent clicks will be recorded but not administer drugs. I decide I’m gonna click it continuously for fun! At this time, we will be encouraged to exercise! This surprises most of us, including me. I figured that we would be out of action for much longer than this! It’s at this point that we learn that the only reason why our recovery will take 2-3 months is because this is how long it takes for our sternum to fully heal, and the reason why we can’t drive, or carry heavy objects etc is so that it heals properly. This triggers off a range of questions from the crowd – like “when can I play golf again?”. During the break, my op-buddy tells me he is an avid deer hunter. He asks the nurse whether he can shoot before the 3 months is over. Given the recoil of a firearm, I’m not surprised she says no, but my new friend is devastated. His wife offers to take the shot for him, this makes him even unhappier.

On day 2 (or 3) we will walk ourselves to the general ward (I wonder if the hospital has a shortage on wheelchairs!), where we will have a shower and gradually increase the distance that we can walk, with guidance of course. By day 6, which is the day that we leave the hospital (yes that is not long at all!) we should be walking about 200m. This all sounds a lot better than I had expected, maybe this surgery won’t be so tough after all!

The nurse ends by asking us to fill a specimen bottle with urine for tests. Like little kids we all rush up and grab the bottles and run to the toilet – there’s only one so we all line up. Another chance to chat to the others. I meet the only other guy unaccompanied this morning – it turns out he used to play golf and squash with my uncle! I fill my urine bottle, it reminds me of my younger years studying physiology at uni.

P.O.P. Heartbeat

2006-11-11T00:53:00.000+11:00

This morning was my pre-operation preparation at the hospital, which I have called P.O.P. I’m not entirely sure what to expect, but I assume that someone will take some blood and some measurements, and discuss the operation with me. I arrive just after 8am, and after a quick visit to admin to fill in some admission forms, I am taken to a room filled with other people. I quickly determine that P.O.P. is the heart surgery version of ante-natal class. There are eight other people here who will be having major heart surgery next week, accompanied by their families. None of them is younger than 55, and in fact one of them asks if I am their surgeon? There are seven gentleman and one lady patient, and almost all of them look terrified. Little discussions are taking place, and the light-hearted banter focuses upon the one thing we have in common – heart surgery. One man is having double bypass surgery (two blocked arteries leading to the heart, so veins from his arms or legs will be transplanted to replace the blocked arteries). The next triple bypass. This is topped by double bypass and a valve replacement. My valve repair/replacement is starting to sound pretty simple now! We are all put into place by the elder statesman of the group, a 77 year old gentleman, who declares in a very strong steady voice that he is having a quadruple bypass. I really hope his surgery goes well!

Finally our group session commences, and we are introduced to Lee, who is a member of Heartbeat, an association of ex-cardiac patients who want to provide support and assistance to other heart surgery patients and their carers. She had a aortic valve replacement in 2004, and is accompanied by her husband. She informs us that they will be our “case officers” and will visit us during our stay in hospital to see how we are going, and provide assistance as required. They also do post-hospital check-ups to make sure that things are going ok at home. She tells us about her own experiences, and I think it reassures most of the group, at least a little bit.

Prize for the 200th visitor!

2006-11-10T23:33:00.000+11:00

It's been getting ever closer to the magical 200, and I've been thinking really hard about how to identify that 200th visitor to my blogsite and a prize that I can give them. All that I can come up with is hopefully identifying the country of the visitor, but I guess that's a start.

After getting home from my pre-op checkup at the hospital, I get a call to tell me that our ADSL connection has been fixed (at last!). I go home, and the first website I log on to is my blog. I go to the webcounter, and see 1 visitor from Australia (obviously me), and the webcounter is 199. I refresh the page, and my webcounter updates, to 200 visitors. So guest number 200 is none other than....... me! Damn it!! Another wonderful idea, shot down in flames...........

Silent Ringtone

2006-11-10T22:57:00.000+11:00

Just saw an advertisement that made me laugh really hard! Imagine a completely new type of ringtone, completely different to all others, that will really set you apart from all the rest. Guaranteed to turn heads wherever you are. What is it you ask? Another Crazy Frog? Even better. It's the silent, yes silent, ringtone! It's pitched at a frequency that is too high for most people to hear. Well actually, most people over 20 years of age. It was actually designed by some kids so that they could send texts to each other without alerting their teachers. Now it's set to become the next big ringtone. Go figure!
Check out this article for more info.
Or for a good laugh, go to this site to listen to a sample of the silent ringtone. Yvette had to put her head right next to the speaker but she insists that she can hear it - I think it's another internet prank! :o)

Life Without Internet

2006-11-10T01:46:00.000+11:00

Maybe it's a sign, or fate dealing me another bad card in a terrible hand. But our ADSL internet at home has been down since Saturday! It's hard to believe how much we use the internet, be it Skype or GoogleTalk to chat to friends or family across the world, emailing, or even just to surf for rubbish when there's nothing to do. And while it doesn't seem to have curtailed my blogging, it's sad to say but I have actually been making special trips to work to post blogs! To comfort myself, I say that it's for all of my fans out there! In reality, it's another sign of my blog addiction and deteriorating mentality, all bought about by impending heart surgery.

The other way of looking at it, is that maybe a higher power is preparing me for hospital etc by slowly weaning me off the things that I am going to miss. If that's the case, I don't think I'm going to survive very well.......

A Present for Me?

2006-11-10T01:43:00.000+11:00

One of the guys left a prez on my chair in my office. It’s big, 30cm x 30cm x 20cm. So sweet. I’m so excited. But it’s been hard to have a conversation with Yvette ever since, because every thirty seconds is filled with “can I open it?”. I’m enjoying teasing her, but the constant questioning is beginning to grind me down. I manage to hold on until after dinner (a luscious 600g prime rib steak - another tick off the list of foods to be eaten before my surgery), before finally relenting. Inside is a care pack (as listed by the generous little angel):
- indulgence for me (chocolate)
- indulgence to share (romance biscuits)
- nose care (hospital tissues suck)
- hand care (we always need a wet one)
- wound healer (it will make it look better)
- reading material (FHM was sold out – perhaps this might be better for Yvette).

What can I say? Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! :o)

Funny Friends

2006-11-10T01:41:00.000+11:00

My last day at work before surgery is over, and in a way I’m glad. It has been so hectic trying to get everything finished and organised. You don’t realise how much time the little things take until they’re all listed on a small yellow sticky pad.

It’s hard leaving work for a couple of months, I guess this brings home the fact that I might need to get a life! Or that my workplace is a really fun place. I like to think it’s the latter. What makes it so enjoyable are all the guys. Not a day goes by without some laughter, tears, stupidity, and general craziness. It’s hard to say thanks to everyone for making it such a cool place, but I’m gonna miss the little square girl, the crazy alcoholic redhead (who makes me sick everytime I drink with her!), the wannabe Queen of the World, the nasty old witch, Miss walk everywhere, choirgirl, the girl that eats nothing but sugar, Princess Hawaii, the woman who always causes tearoom discussions to descend into smut and playgirl. And yes, there is a ridiculous imbalance in the number of females to males at work! There are some boys though, and I’ll miss them just the same. See you all soon guys! :o)

Bonjour le Swiss

2006-11-09T17:45:00.000+11:00

Today I got my first visitors from Switzerland! This seems like a random country for a guest to visit my blog - since the Swiss have all that good chocolate and skiing, so they aren't noted for blogging. However, I have no doubt that it's one of my bestest buddies visiting - and it's about time too!! I told you about my blog weeks ago - shows how much you care! :oP

Anyway, it's nice to know that my friend has dropped by. She never fails to make me laugh, usually because she is so uncoordinated. And she's hot too - except she has a big bum! haha Well anyway, you rate a special mention - jus because now I have your flag on my blogcounter.

Photograph Model for an Hour

2006-11-09T17:13:00.000+11:00

After several bumps and mis-starts, Yvette has arranged for me to get my all important topless photographs taken professionally. Yvette found the photographer in the phonebook - and was drawn to her because in a previous incarnation she was a medical researcher, just like me. And also, she didn't sound as stuck up as some of the other professional snappers! Or charge $500 for one photo!!

The day has been jampacked, with meeting after meeting. I pop into the salon to get my hair trimmed for the shoot. The counter chick nearly dies when she hears about my heart, but my stylist just shrugs it off like yesterday's news. Unfortunately my hectic schedule leaves me running late, so I don't have time to prepare myself properly. I arrive home to pick up Yvette, who has spent the entire day picking out special clothes and putting on makeup, and hurriedly whack some moisturiser on my face, a bit of lipbalm, and then off we go.

We arrive at the photographer's, and have a quick chat. She seems very nice, talks alot, and has a wonderfully distinctive laugh. We head downstairs to the studio, and she explains that we'll take a heap of photos, some with my clothes on, some without, some with Yvette, some without. Damn - should have worn some better clothes! Mid session it's time to strip down to my chest. Deflatingly, the photographer doesn't really like the look, although she does snap a few shots. I ham up a few as well, looking at non-existent muscles while flexing my arm. Overall, maybe 5-6 topless shots, and 20-30 others. There better be a good one of my unscarred chest!

During the photoshoot I am actually quite relaxed. I normally hate photos taken of moir, but in this case the photographer's friendliness made the entire experience enjoyable.

Unfortunately the photos won't be ready until after the surgery because she has a big backlog. But I don't mind that so much, at least my chest has now been forever engraved in time - although there are also the photos from the time we stayed in the spa suite while on holidays last year........

Painaphobic

2006-11-08T17:01:00.000+11:00

Having a definite surgery date has basically meant that the only thing filling my waking (and sleeping) thoughts is my operation! And I am %^$#@^% scared! Not because I think that anything will go wrong, because I have complete faith in the surgeon and the nurses. But because of the pain! All I can think about is the intense pain I am going to be feeling for the next few weeks. Excruciating, sharp, endless, throbbing pain. Sound like I’m a wuss? Probably. Over-reacting? Possibly. But a boy scout is always prepared. I hope they’re stocked up on morphine for when I get there – I’m gonna need it!

Magic Weight Loss Diet

2006-11-08T17:00:00.000+11:00

In one of my earlier posts I described one of the joys of being Australian-Chinese, taking onboard Chinese traditions into everyday life. I’m referring to the restrictive recovery diet. Basically the Chinese classify foods as being dok (poison), or being heaty or cooling (and not in the chilli sense of heat). So basically, after my surgery I’m not to eat any foods that are any of these. Red meat is considered poison (why it’s poison only after surgery, but not before, is a complete mystery). I’ve learnt that eggs are not to be eaten post-surgery or they will make my wound pus. Apparently, my mom’s twin sister’s sister-in-law ate eggs after her surgery and her’s became pussy! (eww, on both accounts!). I am allowed to eat chicken, but in addition to only being able to eat female chickens, they also aren’t allowed to have laid eggs before. Fish is ok, but only fish that have scales (I thought all fish had scales, apparently not). Basically, it’s looking like I’m going to be left on a diet of fruit and vegetables! I have a feeling that I am going to lose some serious weight on this diet!! And it’s going to be expensive – the only fruit I eat is bananas, and they are selling for more than $11 per kg at the moment!

Panic Attack

2006-11-08T10:33:00.000+11:00

I’ve only two days of work left, and there is so much to organise! I have meetings scribbled onto my wall planner filling most of the two days, and a tonne of emails to write. My inbox has been overflowing for the last two weeks, and there are so many emails I haven’t replied to recently (sorry anyone who I haven’t replied to yet – they’re coming!). My desk looks like a whirlwind has hit it, there are pieces of paper everywhere! One good piece of news to emerge out of the chaos, my boss has offered to buy me lunch tomorrow. My choice of restaurant. I ask around and I think I’ve found one of the most expensive eateries in the city! At least I’ll enjoy my last supper at work. :o)

Visitors Galore

2006-11-07T23:46:00.000+11:00

Seems like there is a run-out sale on airfares to Australia at the moment. My mom’s identical twin sister is coming over to visit from overseas. She is fast – booked her ticket today and is coming on Saturday. She would have come earlier but she has a lunch date on Friday! My aunty is awesome, and I can’t wait to see her! Everything they say about identical twins is true – when they are together it’s like something magical. Also, something very painful to the ears – they don’t shut up! :o) Her daughter who is currently working in London was also hoping to come, but unfortunately can’t. It’s sad I won’t see my cousin, she’s very funny and I don’t see her enough. Hopefully I’ll pay her a visit in the UK next year instead. My mom’s younger sister is also flying in later on in the month, just for the night. Two is trouble, three is more than a crowd. Three of them together is a disaster! I’m going to get myself some earmuffs in preparation. My brother is also coming back from the UK some time soon, it will be good to have some male company in the house!

Two of mom’s bestest friends, who live in Hong Kong, are also very keen to come and visit. They are the loveliest couple, and we’ve known them since I was a little tacker. They’ll probably make their way over later in the month also.

Yvette’s family are heading over from overseas in the middle of next month for Christmas. The oyster farmer told us a great story about in-laws on the weekend. He saw his mate walking his dog on the weekend, and thirty minutes later he saw his mate still walking the dog, in the same place. When he asked why he was walking the dog in circles, his mate replied that the in-laws were visiting! In preparation for their arrival, Yvette’s mother has asked me to start buying her lottery tickets – I think she’s hoping to win some spending money before she arrives!

I have to say that it’s overwhelming that so many people are coming over to visit. It’s certainly going to be hectic, but also a lot of fun. I just hope that everyone doesn’t try and make me laugh, I imagine that four broken ribs will make it very painful!

Surgery Time

2006-11-07T17:25:00.000+11:00

Well it has finally arrived. Got the phonecall today from the hospital, my surgery date has been set for Tuesday 14th November. Exactly one week from now! I have to go into hospital on Friday for a pre-op checkup, and then check into Hotel L'Hospitale Royale on Monday.

It's funny, I was a little annoyed that the hospital didn't give me a date for surgery when I first saw the surgeon. But in hindsight, that was probably a really good thing, because its meant that I haven't really thought about the operation much at all over the last few weeks. But now it hits me like a hammer, next Tuesday! I'm freakin out! I'm pretty nervous, and trying not to think about it is actually making me think about it more. No wonder I have made so many posts today, it's my way of distracting myself from the inevitable.

There's so much to do, and now so little time. Where to begin?

150!!

2006-11-07T17:00:00.000+11:00

Blogging is becoming an intense addiction - it seems that I am putting my whole life onto this thing! Someone was even worried that I might have had an accident over the weekend because I hadn't blogged for a day! Let me reassure you, there is no fear of that happening - for those of you who know me, they'd agree that I suffer from a serious case of verbal diarhoeaa!!

Being a blogging virgin, I expected that I would be lucky to attract about 20 people to my blog before my surgery. Today I reached 150!! Now I'm really bewildered as to who you all are, but thanks all the same for coming to visit! I've been posting lots of photos lately - so I wonder if that has drawn people in, like moths attracted to the light.

The cool thing about the neocounter is that I can look up statistics of who has visited (well from which country anyway) and when. It's a little bit different to the neocounter displayed on the blog however, since it logs all viewings of my blog - including multiple visits from the same IP address on the same day (such as me posting blogs - or me trying to artificially increase my blogcounter!). This means that it has a slightly higher count than the blogcounter. But as you can see, for the month of October (the blogcounter started on the 19th) the top visiting counties are Australia, UK and USA.

In November however, there is a real battle between my Aussie friends and the UK, and surprisingly Canada! Obviously my friends in Australia aren't pulling their weight!!

I'm feeling rather popular, but a famous quote bursts my bubble: "There are lies, damn lies and then statistics". Regardless of this, I could spend hours looking at these statistics! I now want 200 visitors before my surgery! :o)

Bye Bye Oysters!

2006-11-07T10:15:00.000+11:00

The drive home marks a sad goodbye to a wonderful, albeit short, trip away. As we drive along the winding roads toward home, we say farewell to the scenery, and the oysters!

Afternoon Snack Surprise

2006-11-07T10:14:00.000+11:00

After a heavy day of trying not to over-exert myself (which was funnily enough pretty exhausting), it was time for an afternoon snack before heading home. What’s on the menu? Oysters!

We’re back at the oyster farm, and there are three or four other groups of people oystering away. The owner is surprised to see us again, and jokes that he doesn’t want to serve us! After a bit of banter, he relents and we have a dozen oysters naturale to eat now, and a dozen unshucked to take home for the parents. While we’re eating, he’s telling other customers about our oyster eating antics. Given that most people are eating a dozen at most, I guess it’s understandable that our tally of 6 dozen oysters yesterday seems gigantic! The oysters are so good and within minutes they’re gone. Yvette and I look at each other, and in a couple of seconds we have another dozen oysters to devour. I joke that we must be his biggest customers this weekend, which to our surprise the owner replies that in fact we actually aren’t. I’m quite disappointed, until he tells us that the other group that have eaten more than us were a group of ten people! So per person, we’re still on top. After a final friendly chat with the owner, we’re off back home.

We only get a couple of hundred meters down the road when I realise that we have to turn back, because I want to buy a shucking knife – I’m sick of using butter knives to open oysters at home. I get back to the oyster farm, and the owner asks me in disbelief what I’m doing back. In fact, he shouts at me as soon as I get out of the car! I tell him I want another 5 dozen oysters. The customers in the window who he is currently serving are shocked when he tells them that we’ve eaten 9 dozen oysters in a day. I think he is relieved when I tell him I’m joking, and I just want an oyster knife. Transaction completed, we say our goodbyes for the final time. I like these guys, I’ll be back again for sure after my surgery.

Final oyster tally, Rog – 63 ½ oysters. Yvette – 34 ½ oysters.

A Day of Adventure

2006-11-07T09:38:00.000+11:00

I’ve been looking forward to getting outside in the fresh air after being wrapped up in protective cotton wool for the last three weeks. And where better than one of my favourite places. The grey clouds overhead look ominous, but we head off none the less.

Our first stop is a nice little beach looking out upon the mountain range that forms the backdrop to this entire National Park. We find a spiny little sea urchin washed up on the sand, which Yvette wants to take home.

Our next stop is a beautiful secluded little cove. A calm swell drives the waves gently in, and we sit down for several minutes to relax. We come across a big fat Pacific Seastar lying on the rocks – I hope it shrivels up out of the water, the little buggers have invaded Australia and are destroying our ocean habitats!

Next we head upon a short walk to get to a hidden bay. The walk is a little strenuous, as it heads up a cliff, and Yvette insists on leading the way. She sets off at snail’s pace, wary of allowing me to over-exert myself. At the rate we’re walking, I’m more likely to fall asleep! After a lot of time, but not much effort, we reach the bay, and it’s wonderful.

A big rock sits near the waters edge, with its mouth wide open as if it’s giving us all a warm welcome. The water itself is crystal clear, and a forest of kelp lines the foreshore and beyond. A wonderful place to go for a snorkel. A couple of young girls hop into the water, and let us know loud and clear just how cold the water is however!

We climb up the cliffside to find the next bay. It’s a little bit steep, so Yvette insists upon stopping every few meters. It’s probably justified this time, I think mom would be frantic if she saw me now! On our journey we come across an unusual tree, bearing ghostly faces upon its branches. We make it halfway up, when the sun bursts out from behind the clouds for the first time today. Yvette enjoys the sudden warmth so much that she immediately lies down to sunbake on the rockface. I’m left alone to admire the stunning view – the beautiful light blue ocean crashing against fire-red cliffs. The rocky landscape provides a wonderful backdrop to the bay.

After basking in the sunlight for some time, we follow the yellow arrows painted upon the rocks further up the cliff. It is becoming increasingly obvious that I can’t go on any further, so Yvette uncaringly continues on her own. How unfair! A little bit further on, she reaches a wall of stone that needs to be climbed. I’m missing all the fun! Yvette finally decides that it’s not much fun exploring on her own, so she comes back down and we head off towards our starting point. We descend the cliff at a different point, and make our way around the jagged coastline. The masses of kelp along the waters edge draw Yvette’s attention, so she’s off to photograph them. I find a nice spot to sit down and wait. It turns out I’m surrounded by hundreds of big red anemones, lining the rocks. Out of the water they look like big red globs of jelly!

All too soon, it’s time to head back. The walk back up the cliff to the car is a little bit tough, and being overtaken by four young kids really hurts my pride! But I make it back to the car without managing to make myself puff too hard.

A Coastal Wonderland

2006-11-06T22:03:00.000+11:00

One of the best things about living on the coast, the amazing scenery! We’ve spent the day wandering along the coastline. It’s a combination of sweeping beaches of soft sand, and rugged rocky cliffs. Hugging the rocks are lots of different types of seaweed, which Yvette thinks looks good enough to eat (eww!). Digging about in the many rockpools reveals a plethora of sea creatures. Starfish, crabs, anenemenomes (that’s a tongue twister! Try anemones) limpets, clams, and other shellfish including the odd abalone. I wish everyday could be like this. I hope that I recover from my surgery quickly, I can’t wait to get back here again.

Oyster lovers' paradise

2006-11-06T21:50:00.000+11:00

The funny thing about being an ABC (Australian-born Chinese) is the clash of cultures. It can sometimes be confusing mixing heritages, at other times it’s extraordinarily interesting, and sometimes it’s just plain funny! For example, it seems that after my surgery there is a list of foods that I am not allowed to eat for three months, because according to Chinese tradition, they will be bad for my recovery. This ranges from things like soy sauce (which will make my scar darken) to ginger (which will cause little ginger-like nodules to grow in my scar). Others things I’m not allowed to eat includes beef and lamb, as well as chickens of the male sex (go figure that one out!). And also, all shellfish. What are some of my favourite foods? Naturally, all shellfish – mudcrab, crayfish, scallops, squid, prawns and oysters! And summertime is just around the corner – the best time for seafood!

Luckily, Yvette is as sweet as she is sexy, and has organised for a weekend away at an oyster farm on the coast. I’m excited and relieved. I want to eat 3 months worth of oysters before my surgery! We know the oysters from this farm well, because they are seriously some of the best we have ever eaten! I can’t wait, I can’t wait! Oysters, oysters, oysters, yum yum in my tum tum.

Two hours from home, taking a fun drive on a nice windy and relatively quiet road, we arrive at the oyster farm. There are three or four groups of tourists here ordering oysters to eat. They’re in for a treat.

We order our ultrafresh oysters for lunch and dinner, a dozen extra large and three dozen normal size. We also grab a kilogram of mussels.

We get to Shucker’s Cottage where we’re staying the night, which is part of the oyster farm. It’s nice and isolated, perfect place for rest and relaxation. Inside it’s spacious, neat and quaint. But who cares about that – oyster time!!

We tuck in to the oysters. And they are awesome! Raw, fresh from the ocean, juicy tasty oysters, salty and sweet at the same time! The best bit – the juice. Anticipation has made me ravenous, and in about 20 minutes, oyster tally is Rog – 24 oysters! Looks like our oysters for dinner are gone!

We head back to the farm and pick up another two dozen oysters for dinner. The owner laughs at our oyster eating antics! Yvette finds a two dollar coin on the ground in front of the store, and gives it to the owner. He doesn’t want to take it – finder’s keepers, he says. After a little bit of to-ing and fro-ing, we end up with two extra oysters.

After an afternoon of adventures around coves, bays and beaches, it’s time for dinner. The menu: oysters naturale, oyster shooters (oysters with vodka), grilled oysters topped with bacon, parmesan cheese and tabasco, followed by mussel and atlantic salmon pasta. Absolutely delicious! Oyster tally is Rog – 44 oysters!

Supper time. The leftover oysters have no chance. Oyster tally for the day is Rog – 51 ½ oysters! (I had to fight for the last half!) Yvette – a measly 22 ½.

Comfort food

2006-11-04T19:20:00.000+11:00

Been watching lots of Jamie Oliver lately, as he is opening a new Fifteen restaurant in Melbourne. I actually really enjoy his style of cooking, but is it just me or does the guy swear a lot?? I mean, I think he swears more in five minutes that I do in a year! The thing I like about his cooking is that its guylike, you know, no precise measuring – more like a handful of this, and a dash of that. Good tasty, hearty food. But I’m also thinking that hey it can’t be that hard to be a TV chef. You know, I think that after my surgery when I change careers, I might consider becoming a TV chef. I can see my name lit up on the tv screen now, “Rog’s Kitchen”. I mean it really can’t be that hard. Can it?

Today I’m gonna cook a simple comfort food, for those days when you’re at home, veging out in front of the TV and you want something quick, easy and tasty to eat. I’m too lazy to go shopping for food, so I’m just using what’s in the kitchen. My ingredients: some light wheat bread (great because it is wafer thin and goes nice and crunchy when toasted), hot chilli sauce, thinly sliced onion and mushroom, some fresh baby spinach from the garden (chopped into approx 1 inch pieces), and some grated tasty cheddar cheese. I’m also going to use a sandwich grill (because its quick), but you can use the oven if you want.

1) So first of all, lay a sheet of the wheat bread on top of the sandwich press. Spread the chilli sauce thinly over the top.

2) Sprinkle the onion and mushroom over, and then pack the spinach on top. Pack it nice and high – when it cooks it’ll shrink down.

3) Cover with the grated cheese and some freshly ground pepper

4) Put the lid of the grill down, so that its just above the food, and cook for about 2 minutes (or until the cheese and spinach are nice and cooked)

5) The finished product.

It looks and smells terrific. As Jamie would say, “it’s @*&*%$@! great!” And it seriously tastes good, have it with a nice cold beer! And the best thing, Yvette will do the dishes when she gets home from work tonight! :o)

Silence of the herbs

2006-11-04T19:17:00.000+11:00

Not being able to over-exert myself due to my dodgy heart has been a pain in the arse, but at the same time it has some benefits. I’ve found plenty of spare time for gardening. Getting your hands dirty out in the vegie patch is great fun, and very relaxing. It’s easy just to have my mind wander off while I’m weeding or watering. Now hold on, I hear you say. Isn’t gardening a woman’s job? Well yes, I guess technically it is. But there is a very good reason why the lady of this house doesn’t do the gardening. Let me tell you why…..

It was a long long time ago, in a place far far away (well actually it was only last year), when I had to go to Austria for work (and play!) for two weeks. I left Yvette in charge of watering the herbs, which of course she didn’t do the entire time that I was away. The day before I returned home she got into a massive panic, and hurriedly cleaned the house. She also remembered the herbs, and went to check on them. Noticing that there were some weeds, she kindly pulled them all up! When I got home, I immediately went to my beloved herb garden, and found entire rows of baby coriander plants lying withered on the top of the soil. Someone had mistaken two neat straight rows of coriander plants as weeds!! Suffice to say, Yvette has been confined to indoor duties ever since!

Insomnia strikes

2006-11-02T02:53:00.000+11:00

We all have them. Restless nights where no matter how tired we are and how hard we try, sleep just doesn't come upon us. Counting sheep, reading supermarket catalogues, midnight snack of ham and cheese toastie, listening to our partners murder the silence with outrageous snoring. Nothing works.

Whether it is the after dinner coffee, or the glasses of wine, or subconscious thoughts about impending heart surgery, I just can't sleep. I'm completely exhausted, and can feel tiredness throughout my entire body, why can't I sleep?

All I can say is that the internet is saving my bacon. Instead of lying in bed, to be overcome with far too serious thoughts on life and mortality, I am trawling the net for trash. Senseless browsing reveals some funny stuff. The obligatory porn sites often pop up, but the pop-up killer is stopping them from hassling me too much. On one page I have the cricket score updating each minute (Aus are thrashing NZ in India), on another I've found a website devoted to Hollywood gossip trash. I've also found a great conspiracy website detailing how financial institutions are crippling the world's economy and that the US are about to launch an all out pre-emptive strike against Iran. My favourite website for the night? A funny little blog I came across during my travels. :o)

The better half?

2006-11-02T02:20:00.000+11:00

There's a list of unwritten rules that come with living together with someone. They range from levels of cleanliness (read rosters for doing the dishes and vacuuming) to concepts of personal space (read the girl gets the entire wardrobe, and a large portion of storage space in the bathroom!). While most of these rules are quite obvious, for the average man they constitute a minefield that must be navigated with great care - any false step can lead to serious repurcussions (read crazed irrational screaming fit!).

Take for example tonight. It seems that I accidently used the wrong toothbrush. Apparently, this is considered extremely gross in some parts of the world (the female parts). Me? I don't see the fuss. But no, this insignificant incident is enough to launch into a hissy fit of epic proportions! I can't help but imagine if this is seriously how major arguments around the world begin? Maybe Saddam accidently used George's toothbrush? Or vice versa? Maybe the real reason for Brad and Jen breaking up was an innocent toothbrush mistake? And they call themselves the better half?

Doggy bag

2006-11-01T23:04:00.000+11:00

Gotta love moms. Took mommy and daddy out for dinner tonight, to say thanks for looking after me (actually more like wrapping me in cotton wool). We went to a classy restaurant, one of the best in the city. Nice ambience, very friendly waiter. The food was great, wonderfully presented, nice size serving (none of the gourmet one bite of food per plate rubbish) and very tasty. When it came to dessert, mom was pretty full so she ordered dessert le petit, which was two pieces of fudge and two lemon shortbread. Mom struggled to get through the first piece of fudge, so she decided to take it home for her nextdoor neighbour (they go walking and go for coffee every day). She started wrapping the piece of fudge in her used napkin. Sometimes mums do things that just make you cringe, and want to disown them. I mean hello, classy expensive establishment, is there any need to take food home wrapped in a used napkin??!! Obviously disowning mum there and then was out of the question, so I joked that the waiter was coming. She quickly covered her arms over the napkin and looked both ways! haha Mums are so gullible!

So finally mum has neatly wrapped up the three things in her napkin so that they aren't touching each other (so cute), when the waiter comes back. So she's hiding her napkin package in her lap as the waiter delivered our coffees. Finally its put into the handbag, and I'm relieved that my mother hasn't been caught out and embarassed us all. Gotta love moms.

Oh Canada!

2006-11-01T22:50:00.000+11:00

My goal was to get to 100 visitors on my blog before my surgery, and I've made it! Hooray! I have no idea who most of the people who are visiting are, but hello to you all! Thanks also to anyone who has been refreshing their browser in an attempt to get my counter to increase (including me!). Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, and the counter only counts an IP address once every 24 hours.

So the consensus of 100 or so people is that I'm a little bit nuts (come on, who writes a blog about rubbish bins and tax returns - I blame it on stressing about my heart), kinda funny, obsessed with sex, and everyone hopes that I get better soon, which is nice!

So who are the 100 people who have been visiting this site? I bet you'd all like to know who else is viewing this blog (we're all naturally busybodies aren't we??). Truth is, I don't really know. But I did find out that there are some very nice Canadian people who have visited, and since I know who you are, a special hello and thanks to Number 5 and Number 7 of 9 (yes these are siblings 5 and 7 out of nine - that's one busy momma and poppa!). And while its been unsaid so far, I can read between the lines, and yes I would love to accept your kind offer of a paid holiday to Canada to visit you when I'm better! Thanks so much for offering! :o)

Dilemma, dilemma

2006-10-31T16:45:00.000+11:00

Went shopping for a new rubbish bin for the kitchen on the weekend. We broke it a while ago, replaced it with a crappy cheap one, but that only lasted a few months. So now we are on the lookout for a new rubbish bin. Not surprisingly, rubbish bins aren't like bras. There aren't many different types, and they all look pretty crap.

We've decided on one of the brushed steel ones, with the foot pedal. But isn't it always the way - either you can't find what you want, or you find two equally good ones and have to choose!! So our choices are:

1) very swanky looking 15L brushed steel rubbish bin, with black plastic body. Very nice, but a hefty $59.95

2) plain brushed steel 20L rubbish bin. Boring but comes with a free 5L brushed steel rubbish bin, and on special $39.95

Oh decisions, decisions. Now I know how a housewife feels! haha

Taxing times

2006-10-31T16:15:00.000+11:00

As if having a dodgy heart wasn't enough, it's tax time. And my tax return is due today! Having said that, it's not so bad since in Australia we can submit our tax return electronically.

My tax return is looking nice and easy this year. No added complications - kids, dependent in-laws, Swiss bank accounts... Until i get to capital gains tax. There are four methods for calculating capital gains tax, obviously some of which give a better outcome than others. These are discounted, indexation method, other method (very descriptive) and CGT concession amounts. What do these mean? How the hell am I supposed to know?? So obviously, my total capital gains for the year is calculated by adding all these together, but what is my net capital gains?? I spend ages and ages reading the tax pack guide, but to no avail. Finally I go and see our family tax accountant. He's also puzzled, so goes to look it up. Finally, after much scribbling of numbers and arrows over my notes, he has figured out that I need to divide a few things by 2, and then add them all together, and that is my net capital gains for the year. Makes sense right?

So my tax return is complete, just need to submit it electronically. But I can't get through the firewall at work, so I go home to submit it. But at home, it won't connect to the tax office website! Probably because every man and his dog is trying to submit their tax returns at the last minute! Completely frustrated, I decide to have a beer and watch Neighbours.....

A glass and a half

2006-10-31T14:02:00.000+11:00

The worst thing about this whole situation is not knowing when the surgery is going to be. I can fully understand why the hospital can't set a date for my surgery, but instead will give me a weeks notice. But it's hard to put life on hold indefinitely. And the waiting is killing me.

However, in the meantime, I am making good use of my time to prepare for the surgery. Mum has mixed up an ancient Chinese concoction made from boiling roots and plums. It looks like the colour of tea, and tastes somewhat similar. It's supposed to "heal my breath". Sounds like a breathmint to me! My breath isn't that bad, is it??

Everyone has warned me that I can't catch a cold. This actually makes sense, gonna be hard to recover from chest surgery if I am coughing and sneezing all the time. I wonder if i'll cough and sneeze under general anaesthetic during the surgery as well?? So i'm taking vitamin C tablets every day.

I'm also concerned about the whole cracking my ribs to get to my heart scenario. To counter this, I have started drinking a glass of milk everyday - gonna get my calcium load up to heal my bones after the surgery. I was allergic to cow's milk when I was young, and was given goat's milk (really really gross - scarred for life) or soy milk instead. Luckily, I have gradually grown out of my milk allergy. However, it means that I never learnt how to drink a glass of milk - it's a very Australian thing to do, but I just can't do it. After one sip I feel sick. I wanna mix something with it to make it taste better - Quik strawberry or banana would be great. Maybe make a hot chocolate. Kahlua and milk, on ice, would be lush! But then I guess it won't be the same. I battle my way through 3/4 of the glass of milk. Not bad for day one.

Girls and shoes

2006-10-28T11:04:00.000+11:00

Yvette decided to dress up a bit today, and wear a pair of high heel boots. grrrrrrr........ very sexy. However, as soon as she had put them on, she complained that they felt very uncomfortable. She thought that maybe her feet had grown fat! Is that even possible?? And then her answer, a very typical girl answer at that: I have to buy her another pair of shoes. Why is it that whenever women have a problem with something, instead of fixing it they just decide to buy a new one??!!

Anyway, a couple of minutes later she realised that she had put each boot on the wrong foot!! She'd been walking around with her feet all squashed up and uncomfortable thinking that her feet had grown fat! haha Unfortunately, she still insists she needs new shoes!

Life's tough as a prostitute in China!

2006-10-26T23:57:00.000+11:00

Thanks to Aunty M for the pic :o)

Luck of the Irish

2006-10-26T20:54:00.000+11:00

I can see it now - me as a grandfather, and my little grandson asking me what life was like before Google. I'll explain to him how Google changed everything. Made it so that anyone could find whatever information they wanted, at the click of a button. For example, Google tells me that the chances of people being born with a congenital (genetic, but not inherited) mitral valve defect are very low. Furthermore, Google tells me that the chances of being born with a congenital mitral valve defect that manifests itself at 29 instead of 60 is almost astronomical. So depending on how you look at it, I am either a very lucky or very unlucky man! So the alarm bell in my head tells me - buy lottery tickets!! Tonight is lotto night, so I've bought a couple of tickets - surely with my luck I should win millions.....

Scanvalve

2006-10-26T15:29:00.000+11:00

I met my heart surgeon for the first time this morning, he is a softly spoken Indian gentleman with a wonderful manner. He has quite a calming presence, and I am very glad that he will be the person performing my heart surgery.

He describes the heart surgery in detail and it’s pretty much as I expected. He’s going to crack my ribs so that he can open up my chest, tie off my lungs and heart arteries and veins, connect me to the heart lung bypass machine, stop my heart, cut a couple of holes into my heart so that he can get in and look at my mitral valve, and then decide what to do. He won’t know what sort of procedure he will perform on my heart until he can look at it anatomically, but once he does he will do one of two things to fix the mitral valve, which currently doesn’t close properly:

1) if it is only one leaflet of the mitral valve damaged (there are six leaflets that close together to form the mitral valve), he will cut off the faulty bit, put a ring around the valve to make it smaller so that the leaflets overlap and closes properly, start my heart to make sure it works ok, if it doesn’t work stop it again and fix it, when it’s all working ok stitch me up and send me home within a week. No long term medications, and the repair should last forever. This is the preferred option.

2) If more than one leaflet is damaged, he will perform a complete replacement of the mitral valve with a metal valve. The metal valve is coated with Teflon so that it’s a non-stick surface, sort of like the surface of a Scanpan frying pan. Funnily enough, my Scanpan is one of my favourite possessions in the world – but having a Scanpan heart is kinda taking my devotion a bit far!! This procedure will involve me having to take warfarin (an anti-clotting medication) for the rest of my life which will be a bit annoying, but I’m more concerned about the more practical implications of the Scanvalve – I’ll set off metal detectors in airports around the world, which is a problem for a jetsetter such as myself!

The alternative to the Scanvalve is a pigvalve (a mitral valve from a pig), but funnily enough they don’t last as long as a metal valve, so given my age and life expectancy the Scanvalve is the only option. The way this is going, I’m soon going to be Bionic-Rog!!

World’s youngest…….

2006-10-26T15:15:00.000+11:00

*said in jest* World’s youngest State Young Achiever of the Year. World’s youngest Young Australian of the Year (well finalist anyway). World’s youngest top class medical researcher. World’s youngest all round good guy. And now to add to the list of accolades, World’s youngest patient for major heart bypass surgery. I’m not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing, but the cardiologist and surgeon are both very surprised that I require this type of surgery at my age – they usually get patients in their 50s, 60s etc. In fact, the cardiologist has never seen a patient my age before!! I wonder if this makes my story attractive as a Hollywood movie? I'd like George Clooney to play me, but he's a bit old. I think Clive Owen could play me well too, but same problem! Most of all I'd love Johnny Depp to be me in my Hollywood story (he is such an awesome actor), but yet again age is a problem. It leaves me with guys like Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Leonardo (Oh hell no!!), Josh Hartnett and the like...... *shudder* not nice! Something for me to dwell on while i'm in hospital.

Apprehension

2006-10-25T23:35:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow morning is the all important meeting with the surgeon who is going to fix my heart - Mr Dixit. I'm really looking forward to talking to him, and finding out the gory details of what my surgery involves. I have vague pictures of my chest being ripped open, my heart being stopped and my body being run by an artificial heart machine sitting on a nearby bench, the surgeon liposucting some fat out, putting my heart back together and then turning me back on. I'm sure that he will fill in the details a bit better than this. I'm also keen to find out how long the operation will take, how long i'll be in hospital, how long will it take to recover, has he done many of these operations and how straightforward are they? I'm wondering if he'll just give me a photocopy sheet of paper, because i'm sure he gets asked all of these questions every time!

At the same time, there are some things I don't want to hear from the surgeon. I don't want to know about any complications or things that can go wrong during or after the surgery. While this might sound odd, I know myself too well, and I know that i'll dwell and stress on all the things that might (but won't) go wrong. I need to stay positive!!

Morning tea talk

2006-10-25T22:45:00.000+11:00

One of my favourite times of the day at work is morning tea time. All of the guys who are free gather in our rather cozy (read very cramped) tearoom for a cup of tea or coffee and a good hard gossip. Discussions usually start off around work things, but rapidly migrate to the wild and wonderful. And today was no exception. Talk centred upon people putting half eaten food or empty bones on their partners' plate during a meal (gross!), or children throwing their half eaten food around. Don't ask me how we get onto these topics.

And then the cake stealer. We started talking about a story on a current affairs program from Sunday night, about parents who don't work, but stay at home full time to care for their children, and basically attend to the child's every want and desire 24/7. It's a new age style of parenting called attachment parenting. What does it entail, you ask? No school, no discipline, and definitely no "neglectomatics" such as cots, prams and dummies — these will all break the all important mother-baby bond. And for some, breastfeeding on demand, regardless of age, is considered the norm. In the TV show, a mother was interviewed breastfeeding her baby (well, five year old). The "baby" would cry out "booby, booby" when it wanted some breastmilk!! Can you imagine this kid grown up, asking a lady for "booby, booby"??!! But it's worse - breastfeeding is nipple selective:

LIZ COLE (mother): Have you had this one [nipple] already?

ELENA COLE ("baby"): Yes, but I want it again.

The rationale is that this method of parenting will produce independent, free thinking adults. If you ask me, it's going to spawn a colony of hippies addicted to booby! My evidence for this:

LIZ COLE (mother): When do you think you'll stop having booby?

ELENA COLE ("baby"): Never.

But it's not just baby that gets breastmilk on tap:

LIZ COLE (mother): Doesn't have to be babies. It could be adults as well. It's fantastic for conjunctivitis in babies, adults, older children and it really works. You know, it is 'it's not just an old wives' tale'.

GARY COLE (father): Liz just, well, knocks me down to the floor and positions herself over me and squeezes a bit of milk into my eye and it gives almost immediate relief.

It was about at this point that most of us left the tearoom! Don't believe that this story is true? Check out the transcript to the story.

My perfect chest

2006-10-24T19:52:00.000+11:00

While i'm obviously quite worried about impending heart bypass surgery, of equal concern is that I am going to have a sizeable scar on my chest. I've decided that I really need to have some photos taken of my hunky upper body before the surgery, and given that the operation is being rushed through I don't have much time!

Luckily, I have been swamped with offers from people to take a semi-naked photoshoot of me. Thanks so much guys! Although, one person did say that they'd do the photoshoot with their hands over their eyes to stop themself from spewing - doesn't inspire confidence that the photos will be any good! However, I think that I have settled upon a portrait photographer to immortalise me in time, just need to prepare myself for the shoot.

Obviously I will be wanting to look my best, i'm even considering make-up and such! There's also talk of an appointment for me to get my eyebrows waxed. My major immediate concern however is that I'm not quite the Adonis that women believe me to be. In fact, my scrawny upper body and large, round tummy make me look like E.T. Given that I have a week or two until surgery and I'm not allowed to lift heavy things or exert myself, I think I am totally stuffed!! Or am I? Maybe these diuretics are a godsend after all - if I just go on a liquid diet, I'm sure to lose plenty of mass from my tummy in no time. I Hope!

World's biggest heart!

2006-10-24T13:24:00.000+11:00

Ok I knew that I was a pretty loving, caring guy, with plenty of love for all you women out there! But now I understand that there is a real reason for this - met the cardiologist this morning and he told me that some parts of my heart are 3 times bigger than normal, other parts twice as big!!! WOW! That is like a big heart - I wonder if I can enter the Guinness Book of Records? I'm also considering a career change after the surgery to take advantage of my ginormous heart. Something along the lines of endurance athelete, Tour de France rider perhaps? With a heart the size of mine, surely i'll be able to kick their butts!

More seriously, the consequences of a heart this big are pretty scary. The faulty valve is causing a buildup of back pressure, which is putting a lot of strain on my heart and lungs. If left unfixed, it'll fail at some stage and it'll be bye bye Rog. My cardiologist is right on the ball however, and this is not going to happen! He has told the surgeon I am a priority case - so the surgery should be in the next week or two. And when the surgery is over, no long term medications. I'll be as fit as a fiddle!

So the next looming appointment is with the surgeon on Thursday. It's actually a Public holiday, so it says alot about him that he's meeting me. I hope that he's not handsome too though - i'm scared i'm losing my hold over Yvette, as well as my sanity!

lipoheartion

2006-10-24T09:04:00.000+11:00

Thinking non-stop about surgery for some days now, and the light bulb has just gone on in my head! I have a fantastic idea for a new type of surgery combining the best of liposuction and heart surgery - lipoheartion. Where do I get these ideas you ask?? Well, aside from having way too much time on my hands recently, I figured that since they were going to be spending hours on my heart surgery, it wouldn't be much work to give me a tummy tuck as well! Hell, I'm not going to be able to go to the gym for a while after the surgery anyway, so I might as well save myself the trouble! I've even thought of an advertisement pitch for the lipoheartion, it goes something like this (think of home tv shopping commercials):

*cheesy voiceover* Tired of feeling sad and blue? High blood pressure, cholesterol and clogged arteries making your life miserable? Caught in a cycle of eating to feel better, and then eating just because. Are you overweight, and have a heart problem? Well, we have the answer for you, all new from your nearest surgeon or hospital - LIPOHEARTION. Guaranteed to instantly remove years of built up fat, with the added power of total heart cleanup/repair/replacement. And if you buy now, we'll include removal of varicose veins for free...... But wait, there's more. As an extra special offer for our special customers, if you are one of the first 50 orders right now, we'll also throw in a free breast enlargement (DD only).

hahaha - I think I have officially gone insane!

It's time......

2006-10-24T08:56:00.000+11:00

The cliche is that there are moments in one's life where time passes so slowly it almost stops. One of those defining moments, where decisions are made that determine the direction your life will take. I'm at this crossroads now. In a little while I'll be sitting with the cardiologist discussing my situation and what our options (well actually option, there's only one that I can see) are. Been thinking about this appointment all week, and i'm nervous and positive at the same time. It will be good to hear how the surgery went last week, and whether he found any other problems. But as much as I try to put them out of my head, there are bad thoughts floating around as well. What if he found another problem, and that's why they are rushing me through surgery? I guess i'll know soon.

Man's best friend

2006-10-23T22:35:00.000+11:00

I’ve had some emails, comments and general feedback about my blog – and a lot of it surrounds the perception that I have some serious penis issues to resolve. To put the record straight, I can say with absolute conviction that all men are obsessed with their penis (but never anyone else’s!!). Ok, I have to admit that I have been checking my groin out a lot over the last few days after the surgery, and checking for life every couple of minutes borders on lunacy. But I really need to know that it’s going to function normally again!

So why are men so in touch with themselves? Well imagine that you are a young baby boy, experiencing sensations such as smell and touch for the first time. Exploring yourself, you find your fingers and your toes. And somewhere in between, your little fella. Obviously you are going to be intrigued by this wonderful organ and want to learn more. And this is something that we men carry with us for the rest of our life. Enough said.

Incidently, I learnt a new Cantonese phrase today. “Da fei gei”. Translated literally, it means hit the aeroplane. Very Confucian indeed!

Enjoying being back to work........

2006-10-23T18:01:00.000+11:00

It's such a nice feeling being out of the house! Some sun on my pallid face, and fresh air in my lungs seems like the medicine I have been needing.

I'm back at work today, and it's a flurry as usual. I try to stay seated, and not get up and down too much - the blood pressure tablets make me exceedingly dizzy, but it's hard to do with so much going on. I'm catching the elevator between floors, and in the time it takes to travel between a single floor I'm sure a grandfather with a cane could walk up the entire 3 floors! And now there is a robotic female voice informing me of the floor number, it's voice drawls almost as slowly as the elevator itself!

It's "nice" to know that I haven't been missed for the last week - the only note on my door is one wishing me happy 30th birthday from last month (which at some point someone has changed to 80th!). There are no flowers in my office, no get well soon cards. No chocolates for me to eat as I wallow in self pity.

Most men would dream of a workplace where women outnumber men by at least five to one. Admittedly, most men dream of a workplace where they are outnumbered by young, gorgeous and sexy women, so my workplace only fulfills one criteria! But for all you men reading, I'm here to tell you that unfortunately the dream is so much better than the reality!

So i'm back to work now, and it's a nice feeling. Lots of good things going on, keeps my mind off my heart and my impending date with the surgeon.

Green eggs and ham

2006-10-22T09:56:00.000+11:00

It's breakfast time. Oh what shall I eat this fine morning? I look in the fridge, and find a dozen eggs. Yum. I'm gonna have eggs for breakfast. I feel particularly ravenous, I think i'll have three or four. Instantly, as if I am pre-programmed like a robot, alarm bells start ringing in my head. I can't have more than 2 eggs a day! It was one of those warnings that my mum gave us when we were little kids (and even now!). I've always wondered where the fact is behind these myths our mothers spin us boys when we are little. It's like the don't flick rubberbands around, you'll take someone's eye out myth. And all moms seem to have the same myths to tell their sons - I wonder if there is a Universal book of myths that mothers receive when they give birth to a boy??
Back to eggs. I ignore mum's warning and take four eggs out of the fridge. I wonder what will happen if I have four eggs in a day? Visions of me sprouting chicken wings, and my legs turning into drumsticks, fill my mind. But how to eat them? A crazy poem comes together in my mind:

One egg is fine,
Poached, boiled or fried.
Two eggs is better,
Mum's rule i'll abide.
With three eggs I think,
that scrambled they'll be.
But four eggs I have,
so it'll be benedict for me.

Ok, it's pretty clear I am going crazy at home on my own! I can't wait to go back to the real world tomorrow.

Jokuretics

2006-10-21T14:03:00.000+11:00

I'm sure that the gentlemen who invented diuretics are laughing in their sleep! I don't doubt the health benefits of taking diuretics for patients like myself across the world, but the number of times that I have to go to the toilet, and the time I spend in there, is absolutely amazing! I'm visiting the toilet about every thirty minutes. I'm glad that there is no-one here to laugh at me and this comical scene!

Note - the diuretics I am using were invented by Baer, Bayer, Sprague and Novello. While they didn't win any comedy awards for their discovery, they did receive the Lasker in 1975 (generally a precursor to the Nobel prize!).

America bashing

2006-10-21T12:32:00.000+11:00

My grad student friend in the States emailed me this morning - it's nice to hear from her. She did point out that my vitriol over Americans and prescription meds was a bit harsh. To any Americans reading it, please don't be too offended, it was meant to be tongue in cheek. Having said all of that, I recently watched SuperSize Me for the first time last week, and was both amazed and scared. I didn't realise that there were so many big Ms, so densely packed within cities. And while Spurlock doesn't surprise me with his "eat macs all day for a month and I'll get supremely sick" lesson, I have to say there is nothing better than a bacon and egg Mcmuffin after a big night out!

For anyone interested, do check out the top 300 prescription drugs in the US, and the quantity prescribed in 2005. Thanks to C for the link!

In the meantime, it's time for lunch and I think i'll have some big "M", some of Mum's big serving of food!

Supporting hands

2006-10-21T12:14:00.000+11:00

Today it's sunny and bright, which lifts my spirits somewhat. I feel confident enough to apply pressure on my right leg and almost walk properly. I'm walking up and down the house to exercise.

Mum and dad have been awesome. Mum calls again this morning, and tells me I better not eat too much otherwise i'll get fat because i'm not exercising. I laugh at the irony - if she didn't give me so much food then I wouldn't be getting fat!

My brother calls this morning to see how i'm doing. It's so nice to hear his voice - he's overseas working at the moment. I tell him that maybe my lack of atheletic endurance when I was younger was due to my faulty heart. He tells me it was just because i was fat and lazy - thanks! It will be good to see his face again soon.

Yvette has taken my present condition into consideration, and changed out of the sexy french maid outfit and into a clown outfit! Her first joke for the day, "If you are walking up and down anyway, why don't you go get me some soy sauce, a small bowl and some chopsticks?" Looks like my days of receiving sympathy are over for now - I think i'll start calling her Krusty!

She leaves me a list of things I can and can't do. The list of cans is not so big - blog, eat, sleep, carry phone at all times, eat, sleep. That's about it. Personally I think there is a conspiracy to get me fat!!

I've received lots of emails and blog comments from friends from everywhere - thanks to all of you for your support!

While the sun is still out I think i'll go for a walk around the house.