My penis, my penis, my kingdom for my penis!

A coronary angiogram sounds rather straightforward. Insert a cathether into the femoral artery, a major artery in your body, and inject dye so that blockages in the artery can be detected. Sounds gruesome, but pretty routine. The booklet they gave me describes quite clearly the potential side effects of this surgery. Bleeding to death, infection, blood clotting and other nasty things. But there's one thing they omit from this information booklet that needs to be explained to any man undergoing this surgery.

Upon entering the hospital, I was taken into the day ward and given a bed. After changing into a gown (light green with a floral pattern), I was informed a male nurse was coming to shave my groin region. What the hell??!! No one told me about this, it's supposed to go into my damn thigh!! Some minutes later, he arrived and proceeded to shave off one half of my pubic hair. I wondered if this had suddenly made me half gay. And then it dawned on me that this surgery was going to be very very close to my best friend. And I began to panic. I was terrified that anything affecting blood flow in that region could have a permanent effect upon my manhood and my legendary sexual prowess. What the hell had I gotten myself into?

Post surgery note - I'm advised not to undertake sexual activity for several days. Judging by the current state of my penis, and the intense pain in my groin area, I'm beginning to think that I will never have sex again. Oh God NO!!!!! Is this going to be a Shakespearean tragedy??