Apprehension

Tomorrow morning is the all important meeting with the surgeon who is going to fix my heart - Mr Dixit. I'm really looking forward to talking to him, and finding out the gory details of what my surgery involves. I have vague pictures of my chest being ripped open, my heart being stopped and my body being run by an artificial heart machine sitting on a nearby bench, the surgeon liposucting some fat out, putting my heart back together and then turning me back on. I'm sure that he will fill in the details a bit better than this. I'm also keen to find out how long the operation will take, how long i'll be in hospital, how long will it take to recover, has he done many of these operations and how straightforward are they? I'm wondering if he'll just give me a photocopy sheet of paper, because i'm sure he gets asked all of these questions every time!

At the same time, there are some things I don't want to hear from the surgeon. I don't want to know about any complications or things that can go wrong during or after the surgery. While this might sound odd, I know myself too well, and I know that i'll dwell and stress on all the things that might (but won't) go wrong. I need to stay positive!!