lipoheartion

Thinking non-stop about surgery for some days now, and the light bulb has just gone on in my head! I have a fantastic idea for a new type of surgery combining the best of liposuction and heart surgery - lipoheartion. Where do I get these ideas you ask?? Well, aside from having way too much time on my hands recently, I figured that since they were going to be spending hours on my heart surgery, it wouldn't be much work to give me a tummy tuck as well! Hell, I'm not going to be able to go to the gym for a while after the surgery anyway, so I might as well save myself the trouble! I've even thought of an advertisement pitch for the lipoheartion, it goes something like this (think of home tv shopping commercials):

*cheesy voiceover* Tired of feeling sad and blue? High blood pressure, cholesterol and clogged arteries making your life miserable? Caught in a cycle of eating to feel better, and then eating just because. Are you overweight, and have a heart problem? Well, we have the answer for you, all new from your nearest surgeon or hospital - LIPOHEARTION. Guaranteed to instantly remove years of built up fat, with the added power of total heart cleanup/repair/replacement. And if you buy now, we'll include removal of varicose veins for free...... But wait, there's more. As an extra special offer for our special customers, if you are one of the first 50 orders right now, we'll also throw in a free breast enlargement (DD only).

hahaha - I think I have officially gone insane!