Saturday, December 02, 2006

Post Hosp Day Thirteen Summary: Frustration, Depression, Anger, Alone

Well I guess that all good things must eventually come to an end, and in my case, it was probably too good to be true. Leading up to and after my operation, I can honestly say that I have been able to remain positive about the entire experience. But this morning I wake up and I'm hit by a tidal wave of emotion all at once. It's the deadly combination: frustration, depression, anger, alone (FDAA). All of my information booklets warn against these emotions, and i've pretty much ignored them all because I haven't really felt any of them, but today they seem to have finally caught me!

I'm angry and frustrated at not being able to do the things that I would normally take for granted, and for missing out on events that I would love to have attended. Being treated like i'm disabled in some way is also really starting to annoy me, and today i've found myself very snappy and angry over the smallest things. The natural order is for these to lead to depression, and i'm feeling rather depressed about myself today. Despite the support that i'm receiving, all of these feelings are making me feel very cold and alone. It's not a pleasant feeling. Talking to someone might help, but I doubt i'd be able to explain all of these emotions to anyone anyway. Interestingly, blogging seems to help (I wonder if the Australian Health System will support blogging as an alternative medication for FDAA??). I think it's time for some time alone, so that I can sort myself out. I'm sure i'll be able to kick out the FDAA soon, so i'll talk to you all again in a few days......

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Post Hosp Day Eleven Summary: Time Flies!

Time flies! It is hard to believe that 17 days ago I was staring death in the face! While i'd like to be able to say that I grabbed death's balls and told him to go away, it wasn't quite like that. But i'll happily take a victory over death any way that I can! Suffice to say, I'm feeling good and looking forward to getting my life back to normal. In the meantime - to you, my adoring fans and disciples, I wish you all the best of health and happiness!

Post Hosp Day Ten Summary: Chronic Mitral Regurgitation

Prior to my surgery, my cardiologist suggested that I act like a patient,and not look up my condition on the internet or text books, as it would probably cause more stress and worry than good. Despite the constant urge to surf the web, I resisted and with hindsight, this was probably the best thing I could have done. However, now that my surgery has been a success and my heart is all better, it's time to hit Wikipedia!

So basically I had a case of chronic mitral regurgitation. This was caused by Myxomatous degeneration of the mitral valve, which is apparently the most common form of mitral regurgitation, and is more common in males, and in advancing age (very rare at 29!). In my case, it was caused by a genetic abnormality from birth that results in a defect in the collagen that makes up the mitral valve. This causes a stretching out of the leaflets of the valve and the chordae tendineae (the tendons that attach the leaflet to the heart muscles). The elongation of the valve leaflets and the chordae tendineae prevent the valve leaflets from fully coming together when the valve is closed, causing the valve leaflets to prolapse into the left atrium (which re-opens that valve during the phase when it should be shut), thereby causing mitral regurgitation.

Here is a picture showing the position of the mitral valve. The leaflets of the valve (six of them)close together to form the oval valve, while the white tendons (chordae tendineae) attach the leaflets to the heart muscles. In my case, one of the chordae was not pulling down correctly, so the valve wasn't shutting properly. This is most likely the developmental genetic abnormality, and with age it has gradually worsened to the stage that the chordae and attached leaflet were flailing, presumably ruptured due to the constant strain (over a number of years) upon my heart.

The degree of severity of mitral regurgitation can be quantified by echocardiogram, by the percentage of the left ventricular stroke volume (blood volume being pumped through the heart) that regurgitates into the left atrium (the regurgitant fraction). The degree ranges from mild (<20 regurgitant fraction), moderate (20-40), moderately severe (40-60) and severe (>60). I had severe mitral regurgitation! How serious is this? Well basically, this means that for every beat of my heart, only 40% of the blood that is supposed to be pumped to my lungs and my body is actually getting there! The other 60% is flowing back into the wrong chamber of the heart (left atrium).

So what does severe chronic mitral regurgitation do to the heart? Well, initially the heart is able to compensate for less efficient pumping of blood around the body by getting bigger and pumping harder/more. So, the left ventricle develops eccentric hypertrophy (gets bigger, although 300% bigger as in my case is a major concern) in order to better manage the larger than normal stroke volume (the heart tries to pump more blood volume to compensate for the 40% efficiency rate). The eccentric hypertrophy and the increased diastolic volume combine to increase the stroke volume (to levels well above normal) so that the forward stroke volume (forward cardiac output) approaches the normal levels.

In the left atrium, the volume overload causes enlargement of the chamber of the left atrium (again in my case 300% of normal size is not good!), allowing the filling pressure in the left atrium to decrease. This improves the drainage from the pulmonary veins, and signs and symptoms of pulmonary congestion will decrease.

So ok, the heart can compensate, basically by getting bigger. But this can't last forever - so what happens long-term? Well basically, at some stage the heart can no longer compensate for the severe mitral regurgitation. The ventricular myocardium is no longer able to contract adequately to compensate for the volume overload of mitral regurgitation (basically the heart muscle gets worn out), and the stroke volume of the left ventricle will decrease. The decreased stroke volume causes a decreased forward cardiac output and an increase in the end-systolic volume. The increased end-systolic volume translates to increased filling pressures of the ventricular and increased pulmonary venous congestion. The individual will develop symptoms of congestive heart failure. These include shortness of breath, pulmonary edema, orthopnea, paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea, as well as symptoms suggestive of a low cardiac output state (ie: decreased exercise tolerance). Cardiovascular collapse with shock (cardiogenic shock) may be seen in individuals caused by sudden papillary muscle rupture or rupture of a chordae tendineae caused by the chronic strain placed upon the heart (sound familiar? This is probably why I collapsed).

The only treatments for severe mitral regurgitation are urgent mitral valve repair or replacement. Lucky for me, my valve has been repaired! Hooray! No-one is entirely sure how long the repair will last since the first mitral valve repairs were pioneered by a French heart surgeon, Dr. Alain F. Carpentier, in the mid 1980s. But i'm hopeful it will last forever! Here is a picture of how my mitral valve was repaired. I've had an annuloplasty, which is where the damaged part of the valve and chordae has been cut out, the rest of the valve stitched together and a ring used to tighten the valve so that it fits together properly.

When I get the echocardiograms from my cardiologist I'll post them so that you can all see the difference between my severely stuffed and newly repaired mitral valve.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Post Hosp Day Nine Summary: Flowers All Around

Bored with all of the exercises and walking in circles that have become part of my rehabilitation routine, I have gotten Yvette to drop off my digital SLR so that I can add a photographing routine to my rehab program. Luckily mom and dad maintain a fabulous garden around their house, so there are plenty of things to take photos of. There are flowers of all shapes, sizes and colours!







My **** Really is 8 Inches Long!

Ok, it's true. Men really like to compare the size of their ****s. While overexaggeration is rife, and many excuses are given for why on certain days the size of a **** might vary, there is no doubt that a big **** gives a man certain bragging rights. Well I can say with complete certainty that my **** is right up there with the best of them, coming in at 21cm (about 8 inches) as measured by Yvette.

It's also true that men have a fascination with looking at their ****s. I think Yvette is a little bit worried about my obsession with looking at my ****, but I tell her that it's completely normal for a man! Throughout the day, I often find myself with my clothes up and my finger running up and down every bump on my ****, i'm completely fascinated by it!

I've noticed a dramatic improvement in my **** each day since surgery. It was a bit soft straight after surgery, but now it has hardened up quite a bit. I show my **** to Yvette every day, and she has a touch and feel as well. She is also very impressed by it, and has been photographing my **** every day! Suffice to say, there will be some photos of my **** appearing soon, but for now just let me assure you all that my **** is in super good shape right now!

Oh, just to be clear, **** = scar, not any other four letter male object!

Post-Hosp Day Eight Summary: Over Ambitious

Yesterday was a big day - three sets of visitors. Doesn't sound like much, but I was fairly tired by the end of the day. My pharmacist aunty was worried that I looked green and I couldn't keep my eyes open I was so tired. I dunno about the green bit, but being Asian I can't really open my eyes very wide on a good day anyway! As tired as I might have been, I force myself to stay awake so that I can keep Yvette company while she watches Australian Idol (and yes it hurt having to watch it all season, the sacrifices I make for her!). One of the singers, Damien, makes her whole body tingle (supposedly) and leaves her breathless. Apparently, he has to sing at our wedding! Apparently we're getting married one day?! Forcing myself to watch Idol, together with the cavalcade of guests earlier in the day, leaves me exhasuted and I'm off to bed early.

Day Eight begins brightly, it is a gorgeous day outside. Yvette has the day off, so I manage to convince mom to drop me off at home so I can spend the day with her. At last i'm back home, even if only for a few hours! It's so nice to be home. I kick my feet up on the couch, but unsurprisingly it doesn't last. The dragon lady drags me outside to hang the washing out. While i'm out there, I water the garden as well. We then head off to town, so that I can do my walk for the day - i'm to carry shopping bags while Yvette looks for a dress for her work Christmas Party! It's actually nice walking around in the sun. But by the end of the day I'm a bit tired. I think it's gonna be an early night again tonight.

There's a familiar pattern emerging - Rog gets over ambitious and wears himself out. Perhaps I should pay more attention to the rehabilitation booklet (which I still haven't read properly yet!).

Edited by Yvette: Grrr...First of all, its shivers down my back, hair standing up. Not tingling body. Second, I said he will be singing at my wedding, not ours. But then Rog alerted me to the fact that I would actually have to have a wedding for Damien to sing at. So that might be a problem. Maybe my birthday instead then. Third, he's not just one of the singers - he's the new Australian Idol 2006 Damien Leith. *little victory dance*. Fourth, Rog really likes Damien and enjoyed Idol more than I did. But he's secretly envious I think - each time Damien sings, Rog will say that it's unfair that someone with no singing lessons can sing so well. So there! :P

Post-Hosp Day Seven Summary: Rehab Rehab Rehab

The key to recovering from heart surgery is the rehabilitation program. In particular, it is important to exercise regularly and continuously. I've been given a booklet entitled "Let's Get Moving" which provides guidelines for returning to everyday activity following heart surgery. In actual fact, it provides a detailed week by week guide to rehabilitation. For example, week one:
- activity level as in hospital - light activities of short duration (reading, watching tv etc)
- rise, shower, dress, relax, expect to feel fairly tired and rest when required
- no bending over (ie: don't take off socks myself etc)
- stay at home
- make yourself a cup of tea/coffee
- sedentary interests (blogging, light tabletop activities such as jigsaws)
- read newspapers or magazines
- walk up to 10 minutes twice a day on flat ground
- no lifting (2.5kg or more), no bending, no weight through arms

While this is all good, unsurprisingly I have pretty much ignored the booklet and am doing all the week two things (such as photography, writing, computer games, bending to lift things, taking off my own socks etc). Unfortunately mom has read the book and she is a bit of a rule Nazi, so there is a constant battle over what I can and can't do! It's a never ending chorus of "don't do that" or "you shouldn't be doing that". Suffice to say, what mom doesn't see she can't complain about! haha

The booklet also has guidelines for when I can drive again (6 weeks), mow the lawn (not that I do anyway, but 12 weeks), lift more than 2.5kg (6-8 weeks), return to work (8-12 weeks) and resume sexual activity (4 weeks). According to the booklet, the amount of physical effort involved in sex is no greater than climbing two flights of stairs! In my case, they must be 200 step flights of stairs! The booklet does say that if I can manage to do this without shortness of breath or discomfort - go ahead! I'm going out to test myself now - I want to be able to go to my rehab class and let all the old guys know that I'm having sex in week one!

The booklet has some other pearlers regarding returning to sexual activity. While the chestbone is still healing, it is recommended that I don't assume the upper dominant position - alternative positions are fine. Mmmmmm - sounds good to me! Also, a familiar partner(??!!), comfortable surrounds and a comfortable position will help to reduce anxiety - I guess I won't be going clubbing to pick up for a few months!

I'm booked in for the hospital's post-surgery rehabilitation program called "Self Management for Wellbeing". It's a program for "people with long-term health conditions". I'm not sure that I agree with this, since I don't have a long-term health condition - my heart is completely fixed! But then I guess I do have "other" problems that could be considered long-term!